Does NSA/MENSA Spell End for Words With Friends?

Words With Friends

You can hardly blame the Words With Friends player for trying YOLO. After all, you only live once. Am I right?

The NSA (National SCRABBLE Association) and MENSA vow to put an end to Words With Friends as we know it.

Words With Friends, a popular app that has made the Hasbro game, Scrabble, accessible to the masses via smart phones and tablets, has been acquired by a consortium of app opponents. The National SCRABBLE Association, a group supported by Hasbro and made of Scrabble enthusiasts and competitors from around the globe, announced yesterday that it has partnered with MENSA, the famed high IQ society, to put an end to what they describe as the “dumbing-down of America via fraudulent Scrabble,” by purchasing the product and implementing sweeping changes to the way the game is played. In question is Words With Friends players’ ability to play words that are otherwise unknown to them through the aide of online dictionaries and cheat sites.

“None of these people know the meaning of words like ‘qi’, ‘waesuck’, or ‘qis.’ They’re exploiting these treasures of the English language for points in a game,” lamented longtime NSA board member, Henry Williams. “People don’t understand why we’re upset about this game. They think it is promoting affection for language and word play among a new generation. They could not be more erroneous. This new generation is simply combing for words on cheat websites and online dictionaries. They never ascertain the significance of the words they use, and therefore never learn the joy of the logophile. They are frauds.”
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Urban Meyer Loses It During Game Of “Words With Friends” Over What He Called “Made-up Words” Integrity, Honesty And Loyalty

Urban Meyer's Words with Friends Board
TDQ laboratories have recreated our best guess as to how Urban Meyer’s Words with Friends game appeared.

Columbus, OH—Unnamed sources have come forward and confirmed reports that they saw newly-hired The Ohio State University football coach Urban Meyer and overheard his bewilderment and eventual anger when playing the “the wildly addictive iPhone-based crossword game” Words with Friends.

“I don’t think he meant to be as loud as he was,” said one source, who said he was sitting three rows ahead of Meyer while waiting in line at the Columbus Dept. of Motor Vehicles last Friday. “He started off rather quiet, but you could tell he was seeing words he wasn’t familiar with and thought the people he was playing the game with were all liars and cheats.”
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