Great Paying Jobs That Don’t Require A College Degree

We here at TDQ went to college. We got college degrees. Our wives got degrees. Does that make us all suckers? Maybe. More and more, we see high-paying jobs out there that don’t require a college degree. And the money the people in these careers are making makes us sick. Just sick.

What kinds of jobs are out there for folks without a degree? How about:

If you don't play you can't win.

If you don’t play you can’t win.

Professional lottery winner Three winning tickets were sold in that billion-dollar Power Ball drawing last year. And you know the best thing about being a professional lottery winner? They don’t check your resume when you hand over your wrinkled cash and coins. They could care less if you went to college. Not a bad gig.

LeBron James

I don’t think King James I went to college. Why should LeBron James?

Professional basketball player “Lebron” King James earned $71 million between his salary and his off the court endeavors. Not too shabby for a cat who never even spent a second mulling over completing college applications.

Robert Downey Jr.

If it were legal we would snort some Robert Downey Jr…and hopefully absorb some of his talent and work ethic.

Hollywood movie star Do you have any idea how much money Robert Downey, Jr. made in 2015? Eighty million dollars. Say that out loud. Eighty million dollars. Jealous? He never went to college. Hell, he never even graduated from high school!

Tiffany Trump

Ivanka, Donald Jr. and Eric went to college, but Tiffany will, likely, outlive them all since she is, like, half their age.

Heir to a major family fortune Your parents may threaten you about getting a degree, or else they’ll cut off the trust fund. But studies show that nearly 94% of those threats go unfulfilled. We like those odds.

Professional PlaintiffProfessional plaintiff If your attorney has done all the legwork and gotten a degree, you surely don’t have to. Can you handle a little bit of hot coffee being poured on you? Can you slip and fall with the best of them? Fine with being rear-ended at a stop light? Then make a call to your attorney and watch the money start rolling in. Easy as pie.

Doesn’t this list of jobs give you hope for your future? Who needs a college degree? These folks prove that anybody can make a great living without a silly piece of paper.

“I Now Understand The Power I Have, That We All Have:” A TDQ Q&A With Fashion Designer DaMarcus Morton

DaMarcus Morton

DaMarcus Morton shows off his LUVDBYMENY line at the annual The Daily Quarterly sponsored Academy of Satirical News awards ceremony.

This week’s TDQ Q&A features fashion designer DaMarcus Morton. DaMarcus talks to us about his company, LUVDBYMENY, his JuSt LuV campaign and his thoughts on LeBron James. Here is this week’s TDQ Q&A with fashion designer DaMarcus Morton:

The Daily Quarterly: Who was your favorite fashion designer growing up?

DaMarcus Morton: As always, Kimora Lee Simmons…love her work ethic and style.

TDQ: What made you want to be a fashion designer?

Morton: I’m not sure, it was just one of those interest that was deeply rooted but now it’s at the surface.

TDQ: What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

Morton: “Never use your powers for evil” I was told that when I was 18 discovering life. I now understand the power I have, that we all have. Continue reading

Degenerate Gamblers, Country’s Remaining 11 Horse Racing Fans Excited That People Find The Ponies Relevant Again For A Few Weeks

I'll Have Another

Owner Doug O'Neill is in constant fear of I'll Have Another letting success get the better of him and reverting to old habits: namely excessive drinking.

Baltimore, MD—With the latest tease in the “sport” of horse racing, I’ll Have Another, making people think that it’s possible there will be another Triple Crown winner again, the eleven people in the United States who still care about horse racing and the thousands of gamblers who insist they don’t have a problem are welcoming the spotlight and the public’s short-lived excitement for horse racing.

“We love it, we really do,” said long-time gambler Vinnie DiCorsio, who is certain that I’ll Have Another will end the decades-long drought since Affirmed won the last Triple Crown in 1978. “Oh yeah, as soon as I’ll Have Another wins next month in New York, I can get my wedding ring out of hock and my wife’ll probably let me move back in.”
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TDQ Investigates: We Told You People Years Ago About Jeremy Lin. Pay Attention!

Jeremy Lin

A look back at the archives shows that Lin was our pick for best middle school player for the 2001-2002 season.

A lot has been made of late by the national media about this cat Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks. He set the record for most points in his first three, and then first four, starts in the NBA, amassing more points than guys like Jordan, Kobe and LeBron.

Only recently, the national media has finally learned what we at The Daily Quarterly have been saying for years. Years.
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LeBron James Gets Into Heated Verbal Exchange With Fan Over Greek Austerity Measures

LeBron James

LeBron James pictured moments before defending Greek austerity measures.

Washington, DC—LeBron James is a fiery competitor, both on the basketball court and in the court of European economics, too, apparently. And this was put on full display to the world last week when security had to escort a fan out of the stands after a heated exchange with the NBA player.

Rob Monroe, the fan in question, made a political and economical remark to James that James clearly didn’t agree with, causing the two to almost come to blows during a Miami Heat victory over the Washington Wizards.
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