Man’s Claims That Fashion Industry Is Pulling The Wool Over Our Eyes Fails To Materialize

Men's Fashion Through The Ages

A brief history of men’s fashion.

“I don’t want to air anyone`s dirty laundry in public but the whole industry has gotten as comfortable as an old shoe!” Men’s rights activist Lauren Ralph was eager to make his case. Ralph agreed to meet at the drop of a hat and I was a little unprepared. “Let’s be honest here. Women’s fashion is beating the pants off men’s fashion. I could put on my best bib and tucker and I bet my boots people would prefer to see a lady in her birthday suit. Sorry! I’m probably scaring the pants off you” Ralph said with a laugh.

We agreed to buckle down and get to the bottom of his claims. Firstly, Ralph purports that the men’s fashion industry is nothing more than a system designed to burn a hole in the male consumer’s pockets while manufacturer’s purses burst at the seams. Ralph claims to have been an industry insider who escaped by the seat of his pants trying to expose key players. In the end Ralph was unable to catch them with their pants down but he still wants to get the word out.

Originally The Daily Quarterly wasn’t even interested in the story until Ralph charmed the pants off a junior editor promising tales of cloak-and-dagger corporate espionage. So, the powers that be told me to put on my coat and tie and meet Ralph for an interview and a drink before the opportunity came apart at the seams.

“Before fashion had come into fashion,” Ralph began to explain, “before cutting a fine figure became more important keeping the dirt off most clothing was cut from the same cloth. People made their own clothes according to traditional designs. There was no desire to be decked out in the latest designer. People were more apt to die with their boots on. Enter the industrial age of mass production and clothing manufacturers raced to woo the consumer’s dollar like it was going out of style!” Continue reading

Magic’s “Rude” Becoming Anthem For Loser Boyfriends Who Will Never Be Good Enough For Their Baby-Mama’s Fathers Everywhere

Rude

Magic! fan Todd Andre and his, apparent, bootleg copy of the song he is rallying behind.

Los Angeles—“Rude,” the smash hit by Canadian Reggae fusion band Magic, is not only rising the charts all over North America, the song has also been adopted by the skinny-jean wearing-musician baby daddies of the world who feel disrespected when they ask the father of their lady for her hand in marriage only to be unceremoniously rebuffed.

“Who hasn’t been there, right?” said musician and skinny-jean enthusiast Todd Andre of the feelings that are so eloquently sung about in the Magic hit. “I mean, talking about my boys. Not me. it ain’t ever happened to me, don’t get me wrong. I have no, zero, zilch, absolutely no desire to ask anybody’s permission to marry they daughter,” he said. “Hells no.”

Andre went on to say that he has four children by three different women, and is in no hurry to settle down to domesticity with just one woman. “Besides,” he said, “who would I choose to marry, right? Know what I’m saying?”

But, he is the self-appointed spokesman for the poor young dreamers all over the world thinking about asking for the permission and blessing of their true love’s father to pop the question, only to be told they aren’t anywhere near good enough to marry their little girl.

Nasri Atweh, lead singer for Magic, said he appreciates the song’s success, and said he is thrilled that the song has touched so many lives. “We’ve always said, if we can affect one guy, reach one guy out there who has foolishly made the decision to ask his boo’s pops to marry her, we’ve done our job. That the song has taken off the way it has just proves how under-represented this population is. It’s great.”

“Dads from back in the day, they just don’t get it, you know?” Todd said. “They think that you need a job or a degree or a paycheck or clothes without holes in them to take good care of a baby or they mother. They don’t understand, it’s a different time now. Jobs come and go, but dreams are forever. And love, that’s, that’s like special. Then to treat us like we’re losers just because we can’t afford an engagement ring or cab fare or the rent that month, I mean, what the hell?”

Astronaut, Police Man and Gunfighter/Gambler James Garner Dies

James Garner

James Garner, center, eating lamb chops with his close personal friend RECOiL writer/director Brian DiMaio, left.

Los Angeles—James Garner, star of the 1970s cop show, “The Rockford Files” and 1950s cowboy show, “Maverick,” has died at his home of natural causes. He was 86.

Garner appeared in such films as, “The Great Escape,” “Maverick,” “RECOiL” and “The Notebook.”

Besides his two big hit TV shows, Garner also appeared on television in “Nichols,” “James Garner as Nichols,” “8 Simple Rules” and “Man of the People.”

He served in the Army during the Korean War, earning a Purple Heart for suffering injuries to his face and hand.

He was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame in 1990.

Garner is survived by his wife Lois, a stepdaughter and a daughter.

Jack Donaghy Finally Got His Wish: Elaine Stritch Dies At 89

Elaine Stritch

Elaine Stritch, right, first met RECOiL writer/director Brian DiMaio, left, on the set of a game show in the early 1960′s.

Birmingham, MI—Tony and Emmy Award winning actress Elaine Stritch died Thursday. She was 89.

Known to most uncultured neanderthals who never saw a Broadway play as Jack Donaghy’s fun-loving, caring, affectionate mother Colleen on “30 Rock,” Stritch starred in dozens of Broadway and traveling shows, including, “Anything Goes,” “A Little Night Music,” “The King and I” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

She won a Tony and Drama Desk Award for her performance in “Elaine Stritch at Liberty” in 2002 and was inducted into the American Theater Hall of Fame in 1995.

She won an Emmy Award for her work on “30 Rock” in 2007 and for a guest appearance on “Law and Order” in 1993.

Besides her work on stage and on television, Stritch appeared on the big screen in such films as, “Three Violent People,” Who Killed Teddy Bear,” “RECOiL” and “Cocoon: The Return.”

She was married in 1973 to actor John Bay until his death in 1982.

Johnny Knoxville To Star In “The Pride Of The Yankees” Remake

The Pride Of The Yankees

Johnny Knoxville is Lou Gehrig in The Pride Of The Yankees.

Los Angeles—Representatives for “Jackass” TV and film series star Johnny Knoxville confirmed yesterday that he will star as famous baseball player and ALS victim Lou Gehrig in an upcoming remake of “The Pride of the Yankees,” the 1942 classic starring Gary Cooper as the Yankees star first-baseman who died in 1941.

Knoxville has also signed on as a producer of the remake, with “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” writer and director Jeff Tremaine slated to write the script, which is reportedly “85 to 90% done, they’re just trying to figure out the ending.”

Knoxville reportedly has spent “like, the last week, week and a half learning everything there is to know about the sport of baseball, and has immersed himself in the history of the New York Yankees baseball club,” according to his reps.

Other members of the cast reportedly attached to the project are Bam Magera as Dr. Jones, the Mayo Clinic doctor who diagnosed Gehrig, and Steve-O as Gehrig’s manager on the Yankees, Miller Huggins.

Sarah Chalke has been tagged to play Gehrig’s wife, Eleanor. Barry Bonds has been approached about portraying Wally Pipp, the player Gehrig filled in for at first base beginning his famous consecutive-game streak, which earned Gehrig the nickname, “The Iron Horse.”

Denzel Washington has been cast as Gehrig’s former hero and later teammate, baseball Hall of Famer Babe Ruth.

Knoxville’s representatives said that filming reportedly will begin in Vancouver in November, with a release date hoped for by July 3, 2015.

Confirming the announcement, Knoxville himself tweeted yesterday, “sUper (sic) xcited (sic) to portray Yanke (sic) great and my alltime (sic) HERO LOU GEARIG (sic)!!!!” Knoxville has also credited Ken Burns’ baseball documentary “Baseball” for everything he has learned recently about the sport, tweeting, “MAjor shout out to my boi (sic) Ken Burns for his AWEsom (sic) doc ‘BASEBALL!’ Taut (sic) me everything about the Game!” Continue reading