Father Takes Pic Of Mysterious “Wings” Behind His Daughter

Mysterious Wings

In a single frame from a series of photos a father took of his daughter mysterious wings appeared out of nowhere. Supernatural origin is assumed.

Concord, NH—The Interwebs is literally beside itself after a father posted a pic online of his daughter “clearly in danger of supernatural spirits taking control of her and her soul” as he put it. This photo of a five-year-old girl on a beach in Deer Isle, Maine seems innocuous until you look closely behind the poor little girl’s back.

A closer look appears to reveal a mysterious pair wings belonging to something obviously quite sinister and frightening peeking out from behind her.

The photo, which was uploaded to Reddit by a friend of the girl’s father without his permission, is now making the rounds on Internet, and has many people with nothing better to do all up in arms calling for the girl to be placed in foster care and the father to be arrested. Others are speculating the photo shows a ghost of a duck or some other water fowl because the beach the girl and her dad were at was near a well-known duck graveyard. Continue reading

Source: Britt McHenry In Talks To Be Spokesperson For F&R Auto Sales

Britt McHenry for F&R Auto

Britt McHenry for F&R Auto.

Washington, D.C.—A source with intimate knowledge of the ongoing conversations between suspended ESPN sideline reporter Britt McHenry and embattled Massachusetts car dealership F&R Auto Sales said yesterday that the two parties are very close to a deal that would make McHenry the face of the dealership.

Seeking to capitalize on the fame that began growing in January after video surfaced of their employees berating and humiliating a pizza delivery man over a tip after he delivered a pizza to their employees, F&R is apparently looking to add McHenry to their payroll since she has gained national notoriety after video came out earlier this month showing her verbally abusing a tow lot attendant after her car was towed from a closed Chinese restaurant in Arlington, Va.

“The gang (at F&R) really admire her wicked moxie and think she’d fit right in,” the source said. “And it’s really a bit of, what do you call it, serendipity, serendipitous, that she got caught blasting the girl at a tow yard. Right? ‘Cuz F&R sells cars. And her car got towed.”

McHenry was suspended by her employer, Disney-owned ESPN, for a week after it became clear to the viewing public and people who had never heard of her that she was a very unpleasant person. She later gave a very Brian-Williams-like half apology on social media saying some nonsense about her being under stress and failing to take the high road.

An employee at F&R, who spoke to The Daily Quarterly but asked not to be named, said, “We ain’t all got college degrees like that McHenry chick. But most of us got all our teeth. And she’s on the TV. She’s a wicked big deal, and would really bring a touch of class to our car lot. She’d really like it up here. And we have pizza parties all the time.” Continue reading

Kim Kardashian To Play Olive Oyl In New “Popeye” Live-Action Movie

Popeye The Sailor Man

Critics promise, “If you love the original you will be disappointed.”

Los Angeles—Sources confirmed yesterday that Paramount Pictures has finalized casting for an upcoming re-boot of the world’s most popular one-eyed sailor, “Popeye,” and the “biggest” surprise among the cast is Kim Kardashian’s winning of the role of Olive Oyl.

Played by Shelley Duvall in the 1980 Robert Altman musical version, Olive is the long-suffering love interest of the sailor man. In this iteration, the title role will be played by Ben Foster.

“We’ve made a conscious decision to stay far away from the Altman version, despite how wonderful that film was,” said Kardashian’s representative. “This film will be darker and grittier than the original, with no musical numbers, and it will be more true to the source material.”

Billy Gardell has been cast as Popeye’s nemesis, Bluto, with the role of the Commodore going to Bill Murray.

This film version will have other villains that originated in the comic strip, unlike the 1980 Altman version, which only had Bluto as the main villain. Holland Taylor will play the Sea Hag, and January Jones will play Alice the Goon. Continue reading

TDQ Investigates: The Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine, AKA The Devil’s Soda Fountain

Coca Cola Freestyle

It should be no surprise that earlier iterations of the Freestyle allowed 666 flavor combinations; If you count Diet-Vanilla-Grape-Ginger-Tea-Ale as a flavor that is.

I knew the first time I saw it that it was gonna be trouble. It was only a matter of time.

The Coca-Cola Freestyle soda fountain, now seen in pretty much every damn fast food restaurant in America, was first introduced in 2009 and touts that it offers more than 100 different types of fountain drinks on its touchscreen display. Like an iPad attached to a soda fountain.

The selling point is that now consumers can mix and match and add flavors to their soft drinks that heretofore they could only dream about. But the problem with that is, mainstream fast food patrons of America aren’t capable of concocting soda fountain drinks on their own. There is a reason Coke and Pepsi and those other companies employ R&D gurus and spend all that money on focus groups and stuff. They know what they’re doing, and we don’t.

“It let me make Diet Orange Coke,” TDQ co-founder Karl Fields said recently. “I was at the same time embarrassed at myself for trying to think outside the box and angry at the Coke people for letting me even try it. As I cursed myself while driving home what seemed like an eternity later, it occurred to me that there’s no Diet Orange Coke on the shelves. They knew!” Continue reading

“Everyone I See Succeeding Makes Me Happy And Motivates Me To Reach My Goals:” A TDQ Q&A With Actress And Model Pia Lamberg

Pia Lamberg

Pia Lamberg on the set of SAF3 with some fellow co-workers.

This week’s TDQ Q&A is with Pia Lamberg, Miss Finland 2011. Pia spoke to us about her new Baywatch reboot series, SAF3; how she had to learn to speak with an American accent after moving to Hollywood, and how much fun she had competing as Miss Finland. Here is this week’s TDQ Q&A with model and actress Pia Lamberg:

The Daily Quarterly: Who was your favorite actress growing up?

Pia Lamberg: I love Milla Jovovich! She is such a badass in the resident evil film series. I hope one day I’ll get to do same kind of action roles!

Pia Lamberg

This is actually the first picture after running a classic CSI “enhance” operation on the image to remove extraneous Jeeps and dudes.

TDQ: What made you want to work in the entertainment industry?

PL: I guess it came to me naturally. After Miss Finland I felt I wanted travel more and explore bigger markets, so LA was one of my destinations. Here I got involved with acting and enjoyed it. It’s not always easy but every day is different and that’s what I love about it. You get to use your people skills and meet new faces every day.

TDQ: What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

PL: For acting, the best advice I’d say I got was on my first trip to LA, I got to meet one of Jerry Bruckheimer’s producers Chad Oman. He told me for acting you need good headshots, to get rid of our accent and a work permit to be able to live in LA. He gave me some really good advice that you might think was obvious, but for me, who was new in the country and had never done any acting it was a great way to get started. I started with a dialect coach immediately, two months later I got my O1 work permit, packed my life in few suitcases and flew to LA!

TDQ: What’s the worst advice you’ve ever gotten?

PL: Sometimes some people doubt if this little girl from a little town could make it in big big Hollywood. I decide not to listen to them. I believe that everyone has a right to dream and you live your life happy when you’re working towards them. And look where I am now!

TDQ: Who are your influences?

PL: My mom and dad give me support even when they are far away. I find my balance from nature, it calms me down and brings me back to my roots. Also everyone I see succeeding makes me happy and motivates me to reach my goals. Since they did it –  I can do it too!

Pia Lamberg

Pia Lamberg, Miss Universe Finland.

TDQ: What was your experience like representing Finland competing for Miss Universe in 2011?

PL: I wasn’t the usual pageant girl. I lived in small town and never even thought about wanting to be Miss Finland. Then the casting was on and my friends were pushing me to do it. It was a last minute impulse decision to send my application to the casting. Well you know how that went – I ended up winning the competition! I had to learn a lot in a few months before Miss Universe was held in Sao Paolo, Brazil. I enjoyed the experience and got to meet girls from all over the world. I was proud to represent Finland and was happy to see how interested people were about my country. Continue reading