A Parents’ Guide To Current Street Slang

Parent coolness is at an all-time high.

Between 20 to 40 years ago parenting was at an all time low with respect to coolness. But parents these days are cooler than ever. It is expected that parenting will, again, become uncool in the coming years.

These days, if you’re a parent, it can seem downright impossible to keep up with the verbiage slung about by a child, especially a teenager. Not only do they seem to switch from being a fan of Justin Bieber to Lance Bass and then back to Justin Bieber again, but they change lingo almost as quickly. And if you do happen to catch the latest episode of “Riverdale” or “Beverly Hills 90210,” there is a real chance you won’t be able to follow along with who is in love with who or whether sideburns are in or not. 

So, in an effort to keep providing you with helpful info you can actually use, here is an up-to-date (as of this morning) list of teen slang that you can drop a bit of knowledge on your teen son or daughter next time you attempt to have a conversation with them. It’s a primer on the language they use and what in tarnation they actually mean. 

Bust the ill pod– Someone very well-versed in current contemporary music.

Pulling an “Indiana Jones”– Taking a long walk in the jungle, the dessert or any such lengthy trek.

Sending flowers to a vegan– Something that is a waste of time or energy. 

Toothy– Laughing at an inappropriate time. 

Sweatin’ to the oldies– Wearing extremely short shorts. 

Philly Jim– Someone with a thick, distinctive (though non-Bostonian) accent. Other variations include Denver Jim, Milwaukee Jim and Portland Pete.

Dragon Ball lame-Uncool, uninteresting.

Tarek and Christina-To break up, or end a long relationship. “Y’all hear about Leroy and Tina? They made like Tarek and Christina.”

Delta Burke– Overweight.

A Rachel McAdams movie– Having to do with time travel.

Meghan Trainor- Someone who is stuck up, arrogant, full of themselves. Especially someone from Nantucket.

Worse than Columbo– Someone who is annoying or a nuisance.

The World Has Lost A Great Advocate And Brilliant Example Of Harnessing The Power Of Spite

Hiroo Onoda

Hiroo Onoda has been given the The Daily Quarterly: Harnessing The Power of Spite to Achieve Your Goals award for longest continuous act of spite.

We aren’t sure what recent news announcement saddened us more: the arrest of Justin Beiber in Miami or the death of Japanese soldier Hiroo Onada at the age of 91.

For those of you few who don’t know, Onada was the last Japanese soldier to surrender and spent 29 years after the end of World War II in a jungle in the Philippines carrying out his orders to spy on US troops.

He refused to believe the war had ended and would not surrender, despite several instances of leaflets being dropped from planes over the jungle and trips by relatives of his to the jungle and their pleas over loudspeakers for him to come out.

It finally took the Japanese government tracking down and sending his former commanding officer to the jungle to order him to come out that Onada walked out of the jungle on March 11, 1974.

He was that determined to show that he was the perfect soldier, that he would only obey the chain of command, not listen to some farmer non-military person on an island Onada had been sent to do his sworn duty at.

Just for a second, try to look past the whole fact that he was a Japanese soldier trained and conditioned to hate and destroy Americans and everything we stand for. Take that off the table, and you can’t deny that he was, without a doubt, the poster child for spite.

This cat Hiroo is a hero in the spite movement, and ought to be remembered as such. He was trained to obey orders blindly and loyally, without question. He wasn’t about to be fooled by the enemy’s tricks or lured out from his post by the lies about the possibility the war had ended.

Onada harnessed the power of spite and hung tough in the jungle for nearly three decades relying on his training, cunning and highly developed sense of spite.

Les Stroud made an entire career of surviving in the jungle for a week or ten days at a time. Try 29 years, bro. Twenty-nine spiteful years.
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No-Name Justin Bieber: Acting Out For Attention?

Struggling Graffiti Artist Justin Bieber

In a world with more craft stores than ever before this caption writer can’t imagine why someone would prefer the side of a building on which to paint and not a reasonable priced canvas.

At the time of this writing there are more than 7 billion humans on Earth. Who among us hasn’t struggled to stand out from the crowd? It is true that there are more outlets of personal expression than ever before: paper and electronic books; terrestrial and satellite radio; hundreds, nay thousands, of television channels; a myriad of social networking, blogging, video, and picture sharing outlets; a multitude of sports with balls of all shapes and sizes; competitive conveyance human and motor, and wind powered; Summer and Winter Olympics, and X Games; video games of all kinds on all sizes of screens with leaderboards ripe for climbing; and many more.

But, let’s be honest. The signal to noise ratio is lower than ever. A person can hardly find a post from their favorite pipe logoed occasional daily news source in their Facebook feed anymore. It is lost amongst the both flotsam and jetsam of posts from family, friends, acquaintances, and co-workers regarding some nonsensical blather.

Some people are able to use their talents to rise above the masses. Be it physical prowess (throwing or catching some sort of ball perhaps) or mental (like crafting a killer tweet, or blog post, or a super realistic looking Photoshop composite) the good attention getters capture attention in a positive way and make the world a better place in the process. Unfortunately some people, possibly due to a lack of a special talent, must resort to getting attention a negative way.
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Justin Bieber To Take On Role Of Marvin Hamlisch In Bio Pic

The Way He Was

The Way He Was, starring Justin Bieber as Marvin Hamslisch.

Los Angeles—In what will be the closest he ever comes to attaining an EGOT, producers confirmed yesterday that Justin Bieber has been tapped to play mega-talented composer Marvin Hamlisch in a new bio pic scheduled to begin production next month in Bieber’s native Canada.

The film, titled, “The Way He Was,” will co-star Bieber’s on-again-off-again gal pal Selena Gomez as Barbara Streisand, for whom Hamlisch got his first gig on Broadway as a rehearsal pianist. Denzel Washington has signed on to play Quincy Jones, who first got Hamlisch into films in the late 1960s.

Chris Pine has been confirmed to be in talks to make a cameo appearance as Robert Redford. Simon Helberg has been cast as Woody Allen, and Maia Mitchell will play Carole Bayer Sager, Hamlisch’s prolific writing partner during much of his success. Their collaboration was the basis for Neil Simon’s successful stage musical, “They’re Playing Our Song” in 1978.

The film will mark the first time a Hollywood studio has taken the huge, monumental, foolish risk of putting Bieber in a starring role. But his reps said he’s “more than ready for the task.”

“As soon as we sat Justin down and explained to him exactly who Mr. Hamlisch was and what all he accomplished during his too short life, he was stoked, like crazy stoked,” said Bieber’s manager. “And, really, who hasn’t heard Selena on the radio and instantly thought, ‘Babs,’ am I right? Am I right?”
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TDQ Tech For The Week Of 1/30/11

The GrinderyThis week’s TDQ Tech brings you The Grindery pretty much naming and discussing most of our video game collection we had as kids, and a piece about a guy, really, we just can’t get enough of.

Man, I miss playing Tony Hawk video games. And we’ve often talked about doing a piece on Justin Bieber weekly. We haven’t decided to do it yet, but just in case, this counts for this week.

You are now technologically informed. Go and do likewise.