Tag Archives: “LOST”

J.J. Abrams Confirms He’s Going To Direct Remake Of “When Harry Met Sally”

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When Harry Met Sally

Leaked promotional materials from the previously unannounced J.J. Abrams remake of When Harry Met Sally.

Los Angeles—“Lost” co-creator and director of “Star Trek: The Bloated Reboot” J.J. Abrams confirmed yesterday that he will be directing yet another Hollywood remake, this time of the Billy Crystal-Meg Ryan-before-her-lips-exploded romantic classic comedy, “When Harry Met Sally.”

The original, released in 1989, catapulted Meg Ryan into the national consciousness like “Joe Vs. The Volcano” could only have dreamed, and made her into a bankable A-list actress while showing America that Billy Crystal could do more than just a good impression of Sammy Davis, Jr.

The film also starred Carrie “Don’t call me Princess Leia” Fischer and the late Bruno Kirby as Sally’s and Harry’s best friends, respectively.
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Roger Ebert Tweets His Disapproval Of Marriage Between Actor And Would-Be Country Singer

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Ebert-Hutchison-Stodden

Only one of these celebs has publicly admitted to having plastic surgery performed. Surprisingly it's cancer survivor Ebert whose treatment required the partial removal of his jaw bone. Hutchison's face is more taught now than it was years earlier. Stodden appears to have been 16 at least once before and may have parts as young as 16.

Chicago—World famous movie critic Roger Ebert has once again taken to Twitter to communicate his opinion on the behavior and actions of other Hollywood celebrities, this time tweeting his thoughts on 51 year-old actor Doug Hutchison and his marriage to 16 year-old aspiring country music singer Courtney Stodden.

On Monday, Ebert tweeted about the marriage saying, “Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to marry D-list actors at 16.”

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Elementary School Teacher Sues School After Being Fired For Telling Class She Saw Tupac Shakur Alive And Rapping Under An Assumed Name

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Salt Shakur

A purported Salt Shakur promotional poster provided by Ms. Thomas.

Tulsa, OK—MaryJean Thomas, a fifth-grade teacher at Shannon Miller Elementary School, was fired in September, and is now suing to get her job back. The school told her she was let go for poor performance, but she says she was let go because she said she saw dead rapper Tupac Shakur in concert over the summer, and the school thinks she’s “a whack job.”

“I excitedly told the children that Tupac was alive,” said Thomas. “I saw him at a concert in Norman, and was fortunate enough to meet him backstage and get the real story about why he faked his death.”

Thomas went on to explain that Shakur faked his own death in Las Vegas in 1996 over security concerns about enemies his parents made as Black Panthers, but was confident he had enough money to survive quietly for the rest of his live in obscurity. “But he invested his money with Bernie Madoff,” said Thomas. “So he gets ripped off, loses everything and has to start rapping again. But he knows he can’t use his real name, so Tupac Shakur changed his first name to Salt, and raps at small venues in the mid-west.” Continue reading →

Southwest Airlines: “Sure We Care About The Safety Of Our Passengers. Sure. Honest. No, Really.”

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SWA

Engineers believe they may have identified the problem.

After Southwest Flight 182 from Phoenix to Sacramento lost cabin pressure at 34,000 feet last week and had to make an emergency landing, the airline has released a statement saying how concerned they were/are with the safety of the passengers that fly on their outdated, antiquated planes.

“Look, nobody was hurt, right?” the statement said, in part. “And isn’t that really all anybody cares about?” In fact, a flight attendant on board the plane was injured, but none of the 118 passengers aboard were hurt. Continue reading →