Is this the first known picture of Phineas Downey? We don’t know. It’s too dark.
New Orleans-Former “Deeder” Leader and world-class over-reactor Phineas Downey for some reason felt the need to weigh in on the events surrounding the Super Bowl and the 34-minute power outage that interrupted the game during the third quarter last week. It’s unclear if anyone associated with the NFL, the City of New Orleans or the Superdome contacted Downey, but there he was yesterday sticking his nose in the Crescent City’s business.
“I’m not all that familiar with the rules and traditions of football,” Downey said at a press conference, “or soccer as it’s called in the rest of the world, but from all the research I’ve done since this incident, it’s clear to me that someone made a huge mistake, they’re fortunate no one was seriously injured and somebody needs to go to jail for this grievous, terrible tragedy. It’s un-conscionable that no one has been arrested yet this long after the match was held in New Orleans, the town so lovingly referred to as The Large Easy.”
TDQ scientists pitted rock, paper, and scissors against each other in the laboratory. The results were clear. Rock rules, paper sucks.
Phineas Downey is now taking his considerable skills in annoyance and attacking the school playgrounds, trying to ban the game rock-paper-scissors.
Downey is trying to get teachers, parents and school boards all over the country to sign his online petition to stop the game and ban it from recess and school playgrounds nationwide.
“It saddens me and sickens me that in this day and age, children are still engaging in, and schools are still allowing, a game that promotes violence, vandalism and intolerance,” Downey said. “If I ever have children, I hope that they can grow up in a world without these sorts of dangerous activities being so commonplace in our schools.”
Detroit—Phineas Downey is in the news again, this time for his attempts to oust Audrey Hogan, current president of the Anti-Hypocrisy Association of America (AHAA). Downey said that he’s only responding to calls he received from the group, and that if Hogan had kept promises she made before taking over, her position would not be in jeopardy.
“AHAA has said, time and time again, that we are inclusive of people from all walks of life and backgrounds and don’t judge others,” said Downey, who only became a member of the organization last week. “But it’s clear that Ms. Hogan does not share AHAA’s vision any longer, and therefore, she needs to go.”
A rare candid shot inside Trump's office as he prepares for the day ahead.
New York—A source close to billionaire TV star and real estate mogul Donald Trump is speaking out about his possible presidential run and his recent controversial remarks, and insists that Trump “is just looking for the love and acceptance he never felt as a billionaire real estate developer or sports franchise owner.”
The source, who asked us not to reveal that he used to be an upper-level advisor in Trump’s Trump Organization until he “amicably resigned” February 11th of this year said that if most of the nation “knew him, really knew him, they’d say, ‘what’s so bad about this guy? He’s just a squirrel trying to get a nut like the rest of us.'” Continue reading
Does Deeder leader Phineas Downey have a point about the overuse of text messaging derived abbreviations? IDK
Phineas Downey, leader of the self-proclaimed “Deeder” group, whose failed lawuit seeking to force President Obama to show proof that he has a right to live in the White House was thrown out of court last month, has found a new cause. He wants to make poor spelling, grammar and internet and texting shorthand fineable offenses.
He has started a petition that would begin with forcing Facebook to deactivate a member’s account if they write “alot,” “your welcome,” “to cute,” “there house,” and other “equally heynous (sic) crimes against the English language.” He’s trying to make “LOL” be redacted unless the member who posted that was indeed actually laughing out loud.
“I talk good,” Downey said, “me and my wife both talk proper. It don’t seem right that people can’t take the time they ought to to press them buttons the right way, instead of using them ’emoticon’ buttons and that ‘LOL’ nonsense. What is that?” Continue reading