Gaddafi: “That Whole ‘Die As A Martyr’ Thing? I Was Kidding, Kidding!”

Gaddafi Wear, Fall 2010

Libyan dictator Moammar Gaddafi, seen here presenting his lady bodyguard line "Gaddafi Wear" at Tripoli fashion week, is likely too busy to martyr himself, as he prepares his spring collection

Tripoli—Libyan President Moammar Gaddafi is distancing himself from defiant remarks he made earlier in the week regarding his country’s protests and calls for his ouster.

“When I said ‘I will not leave the country, and I will die as a martyr,’ I was just, how do you say, shooting the bull with my boys,” Gaddafi, 68, said in a statement released by his new information minister, Achmed “Skippy” Dabbashi. Continue reading

Obama “Responds” To Deeders’ Accusations And Requests For Proof He Has Right To Live In The White House

White House TV Room

Despite heckling from the Deeders opposition group the stage was set for President Obama to enjoy the Oscars from a White House sitting room specially equipped for the event. The 100 inch plasma has been called "too big for the room" by several world leaders. Others question why a more efficient LED TV wasn't selected, but the answer is simple. They just aren't available in that size.

Washington—Nearly a week after self-proclaimed “Deeders” announced they were filing a lawsuit that would force President Obama to produce legal documents proving he had a right to live in the White House, and several months after first attempting to force him to provide the documents, President Obama responded to the Deeders during the annual White House Oscar Party. Sort of.

“You won’t get me to say how ridiculous these idiots’ request is. I won’t do it,” Obama said. “I refuse to tell you how moronic and stupid it is for these jackasses to waste my time, your time, and the American public’s time. I won’t say it.”

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