“Who are we kidding, really?” nursing school dean Frank Miles, PhD. said. “What part of being a nurse can’t be taught online in six, seven weeks tops? Having people stand on scales? Asking how tall they are? Being able to say, ‘The doctor will see you now?’ It’s not rocket science.”
Miles said each new student will be given a doctor’s stethoscope once their first tuition payment clears, and a discount on scrubs from the school’s bookstore.
“Who doesn’t love a nurse?” school founder Thomas Moore said. “I really miss those old gals wearing those great hats, and dressing in all whites. It’s a bit confusing really, now that nurses wear scrubs like veterinarians wear. Thankfully, we don’t yet offer a vet program, so we wouldn’t get one set of students confused with another. I imagine that would be a tough course of study, working with animals. We’d rather open up with something easy like nursing, and build our way up.”
Miles said that the school is hoping to be able to offer a masters degree in nursing, “sometime after Christmas, maybe a nine or 12 week program. Though, in all honesty, I can’t think of what more we could put into the course work. I mean, fluffing pillows and scheduling appointments isn’t really a time-consuming concept to teach. Of course, we expect this program to attract women who are just looking to find a way to meet doctors, that’s understandable. We get that. That makes sense.”