Ryan Gosling, Geoffrey Arend To Star In Film Adaptation Of “Perfect Strangers”

Perfect Strangers

Hollywood must act fast while the 1980's are still popular. It is expected that fashion and culture will skip over the 1990's and try and find something to scavenge from the 2000's.

Los Angeles—Columbia Pictures announced yesterday the news that scores of fans of the 80s television staple “Perfect Strangers” have longed to hear: there will finally be a bigscreen version of the ABC sitcom which aired from 1986 to 1993.

The role of Larry Appleton, played my Mark Linn-Baker on the small screen, will be played by Ryan Gosling. His hapless, lovable cousin Balki, played brilliantly by Bronson Pinchot on TV, will be played by Geoffrey Arend, better known as the lucky bastard married to Christina Hendricks.

Though the script hasn’t been finalized, Columbia said that Joss Whedon has been brought in to complete the story, keeping the two cousins in Chicago, but adding a likely time-traveling vampire-fighting subplot. Continue reading

Obama “Responds” To Deeders’ Accusations And Requests For Proof He Has Right To Live In The White House

White House TV Room

Despite heckling from the Deeders opposition group the stage was set for President Obama to enjoy the Oscars from a White House sitting room specially equipped for the event. The 100 inch plasma has been called "too big for the room" by several world leaders. Others question why a more efficient LED TV wasn't selected, but the answer is simple. They just aren't available in that size.

Washington—Nearly a week after self-proclaimed “Deeders” announced they were filing a lawsuit that would force President Obama to produce legal documents proving he had a right to live in the White House, and several months after first attempting to force him to provide the documents, President Obama responded to the Deeders during the annual White House Oscar Party. Sort of.

“You won’t get me to say how ridiculous these idiots’ request is. I won’t do it,” Obama said. “I refuse to tell you how moronic and stupid it is for these jackasses to waste my time, your time, and the American public’s time. I won’t say it.”

Continue reading