TDQ Investigates: When It Comes To Clemens, Favre And Lance Armstrong, Can’t We All Just Move Along?

League Of Retired Sportsmen

Lance Armstrong, Roger Clemens, and Bret Favre, members of the League Of Retired Sportsmen, recently held a press conference to ask the media to leave them alone.

So Lance Armstrong has given up his fight against the US Anti-Doping Agency because it’s just not worth the hassle. Fantastic. Great. Can I raise my hand now and ask that we all agree that this is the last we need to talk about him? We all cool with that? Everybody on board with this?

Just when we thought we could stop talking about Roger Clemens once his legal dream team made a complete fool out of the Feds and their attorneys, he’s back in the news with talk of a comeback. Enough already!

And of course, with football season here, there is of course talk about Bret Favre, Lord Favre himself, making a comeback, though I’d really hope nobody in the league is quite that desperate.
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They Actually Had The Tour de France And Thought People Would Pay Attention, God Bless Them

Bradley Wiggins

To bring more attention to the Tour de France The Daily Quarterly plans to sponsor Wiggins in the 2013 race. We will soon be launching a Kickstarter campaign with the goal to raise $200: The cost to have a top-of-the line cycling jersey made. Then I assume we just mail it to him and he wears it during the race. (Right?)

Paris—Some British guy with a decidedly British name, Bradley Wiggins, won the Tour de France bike race last month, and dog gone it if the cyclists and people who put on the race actually thought the world still cared about bicycle racing, bless their delusional hearts. 

It was the 99th running (riding? holding? edition?) of the Tour de France, but aside from continued allegations of Lance Armstrong cheating, unless you were a diehard bike racing fan (and how many of those are there, really?) you likely had no clue the race was going on, and didn’t much care.

The race was televised via tape delay on NBC Sports, home to hockey games and some talk show with Bob Costas, who deserves much better, by the way. If not for the Olympics every four years, NBC would be completely wasting their best sports talent forcing him to be the in-studio host for their Sunday night football games.

But back to this cycling thing. Granted, there are probably a bunch of people in Great Britain who are thrilled that an Englishman finally won the race, but how much luster is there really for this bike race now, when one of the greatest winners in its history might have his championships stripped, and Floyd Landis, the last American not named Armstrong to win the thing finally admitted to doping after lying and denying it for nearly four years?
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In Versus Vs. Credible Cable Sports Network, NBC Throws In The Towel

NBC Sports Network

Executives say the new branding of the NBC Sports Network will leave little trace of the Versus network.

New York—Cable sports channel Versus couldn’t compete against the other legitimate cable sports channels, so Comcast’s NBC Sports Group announced last week that they’ve completely given up trying to lure viewers just by showing hockey games and that they will change the name of the cable channel to NBC Sports Network. The makeover, including a new rainbow-colored peacock logo, an anti-patriotic mindset and plans to show sports people actually watch, takes effect Jan. 2.

“This is more than just a name change for Versus,” NBC Sports Group czar Mark Lazarus said in a carefully crafted statement. “It’s a complete repositioning of the brand.” The national sports channel insisted it did a very adequate-to-better-than-adequate job showing the NHL, but nobody actually watched the channel to verify that. Plus, Versus never developed into the legitimate national rival to ESPN that many naïve sports viewers and television industry people had hoped it would. Continue reading

Former Teammate Says Lance Armstrong Pumped Gas Into Container That Was Set On The Tailgate Of His Pickup Truck, Not On The Ground Like The Sign At The Pump Says

Lance Armstrong?

The photo supplied by the accuser provides very little evidence to incriminate Lance Armstrong.

Lance Armstrong can’t catch a break. Now the seven-time Tour de France winner is fighting allegations that he illegally pumped gas into a plastic container that was sitting on the tailgate of his truck, rather than on the ground as mandated by federal law.

“I saw him pump the gas into his red container while still on the back of his truck,” former USA Team Cycling teammate Mark “Donna” Reed said. “I saw him pump it more than one time like we all did, like I did many, many times.”
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