Still Waiting On Those Really Important, Legitimate JFK Docs To Be Released By The Feds

Joe DiMaggio?

Unconfirmed photo of Joe DiMaggio in the window of the book depository on that fateful November day1 in 1963.

Not surprisingly, the Trump administration, despite telling the world he will comply with Grumpy Old Man in Chief and Butt Toucher in Chief Bush 41’s 1992 mandate and release all of the government’s JFK assassination documents, went back on their word and didn’t release all of the documents, instead telling folks that he is giving government agencies another 180 days to go through all these papers that they had 25 years to review.

What this really means, of course, is that you people will have to wait until April for the American government to finally confirm what we here at The Daily Quarterly told you years ago: that Joe DiMaggio had Kennedy killed. 

We can neither confirm nor deny that the Trump administration, or any other presidential administration from the past 50 years, have contacted TDQ Headquarters to “discuss” our findings and our “sources”. Let’s just say that we took a major risk telling you jokers this information, but that’s how we roll here. You all know this by now.

We would be failing not only you, our readers if we failed to produce the information we have obtained, we would be failing ourselves as journalists. And we’ll be damned if we prove to our journalism teacher that he was right. Not a chance in hell.

So just know that when we tell you that Joe DiMaggio, yes, that Joe DiMaggio, had JFK killed. And you will have all the supporting documents you’ll need once this administration fulfills its promises and releases the paperwork. We seem to recall this was a major campaign promise last year, and we’re sure going to hold this man’s feet to the fire to keep that promise. 

And we’ll look a little bit smarter than you already make us look.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise. 

Stoner High School Senior’s Life Completely Transformed After Being Convinced To Watch “JFK”

Mind Blown by JFK Movie

High school senior Bobby Leslie hasn’t shared all of his thoughts on the JFK assassination but we are pretty sure he is in support of the “grassy knoll” theory, if you catch my drift,

Corvallis, OR—Crescent Valley High School senior Bobby Leslie, 18, said he wasn’t really into watching Oliver Stone’s controversial film about the Kennedy assassination, “JFK,” when his classmate initially suggested they view it last month. But after watching the film, Leslie said his life has been changed forever, and he knows now it’s his mission in life to see the real conspirators brought to justice.

“I totally didn’t want to watch the movie at first, when my buddy Lee told me what he had brought over,” Leslie said. “But, I mean, Lee was the guy who made me watch “The Wizard of Oz” scene where that munchkin hung himself in the background, and then we watched it listening to Pink Floyd, too, so I had to cut Lee some slack that he knew what he was talking about with this movie. Plus, he brought some mushrooms, so that was cool.”

Leslie said before he watched the movie, he only had a vague idea of who John F. Kennedy was, and had never heard of the Warren Commission or Lee Harvey Oswald. But now he has a much greater appreciation for history thanks to Stone and “that ‘Uncle Buck’ dude.”
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Goodbye, Darlin’: Actor Larry Hagman Dies At 81

Larry Hagman

Larry Hagman, left, first met RECOiL writer/director Brian DiMaio, right, in the mid 1970’s on the set of the failed TV series “Plano” about two tackle box salesmen from Plano, TX. The pair would try again the following season with the series “Fort Worth.” DiMaio gave up on the TV business and turned to film just as Hagman found success with the series “Dallas.”

Dallas, TX (no, really)—TV’s J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, died at a Dallas hospital on Friday from complications from throat cancer. He was 81.

Known the world over as evil, scheming oil tycoon J.R. Ewing from two different incarnations of TV’s “Dallas,” Hagman secured his place in TV history when nearly half of the United States tuned in to see “Who Shot J.R.” as the third full season of the series got underway, solving the second season’s cliffhanger.

Hagman was the son of Broadway superstar Mary Martin, and first gained fame playing astronaut Tony Nelson opposite Barbara Eden on NBC’s “I Dream of Jeannie.” for five years.

But it was his role as J.R. on CBS’ “Dallas” that made him the highest paid actor on TV and a worldwide star. He earned two Emmy nominations for the role, but did not win. He was the only actor to appear in all 357 episodes of “Dallas.”
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