Garry Marshall To Direct “Groundhog Day” Remake

Ground Hog Day

Ground Hog Day. This looks familiar.

Los Angeles—Critics are salivating over an announcement earlier today by Warner Brothers that they have given the green light for another holiday-themed star-studded romantic comedy from holiday filmmaker Garry Marshall: a remake of the Bill Murray classic “Groundhog Day!”

Despite not one single solitary positive review for any of Marshall’s recent holiday romantic comedies, an anonymous source at Warner Brothers admitted the films, “made just too damn much money, we had to let Garry remake this!”

“We’re really thrilled to get going on ‘Groundhog Day!’ because it’s a romantic comedy that has an environmental message, too,” the source said. “That combination is rare these days, with the notable exception of ‘The King’s Speech.’ But even that film, I think, you really had to look hard to find the message. But we’re excited!”
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As If “Valentine’s Day” And “New Year’s Eve” Weren’t Bad Enough, Garry Marshall’s Making Another Holiday-Themed Romantic Comedy

Arbor Day (The Movie)

Arbor Day: Nothing says "Go plant a tree" like a jam-packed all star cast. Now go and plant a tree.

Los Angeles—Critics are salivating over yesterday’s announcement by Warner Brothers that they have given the green light for another holiday-themed star-studded romantic comedy from Garry Marshall: “Arbor Day!”

Despite not one single solitary positive review for the first two holiday romantic comedies in Marshall’s “Holi-lilogy” series, an anonymous source at Warner Brothers admitted the films, “made just too damn much money, we had to go for a third one!”

“We’re really thrilled to get going on ‘Arbor Day!’ because it’s a romantic comedy that has an environmental message, too,” the source said. “That combination is rare these days, with the notable exception of ‘The King’s Speech.’ But even that film, I think, you really had to look hard to find the message. But we’re excited!”
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Justin Timberlake Fan Responds To Horrendous Cheating Rumors In Tabloids

Chris Crocker

Chris Crocker on the red carpet at the first annual "Satirical News Awards" sponsored by The Daily Quarterly where he was a host and presenter.

Los Angeles—Tabloid reports are coming out now that newly-engaged entertainer Justin Timberlake is already cheating on his fiancé, Jessica Biel. We were shocked, shockedthat the national media could attack its favorite son this way, but we weren’t nearly as angered by the lies being thrown about as Chris Crocker. We contacted Chris to get his thoughts about Justin, and he was kind enough to chat with us.

“How dare anyone out there make fun of Justin after all he has been through and what he’s going through!

“He bought a golf course, he’s been on Saturday Night Live, he made “The Social Network,” he lost Justin Bieber to Usher! Nobody deserves that!

“His ex-girlfriend turned out to be a user, a cheater, and all you people care about is… readers and making money off of him.

“He’s A HUMAN! What you don’t realize is that Justin is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him.
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