Now He’ll Announce People As They Enter Through The Pearly Gates; Don Pardo Dies At 96

Don Pardo

Don Pardo, center, met RECOiL writer/director Brian DiMaio, right, during DiMaio’s brief stint as the SNL band leader in the late 1980’s.

Tuscon, AZ—Don Pardo, long-time announcer for “Saturday Night Live” as well as other television programs and game shows, died Monday. He was 96.

Born Dominick George Pardo in Westfield, Massachusetts, Pardo got his start as an announcer on NBC radio in 1944.

He made the transition along with NBC as they moved to television, and was the announcer for countless game shows, including “Jeopardy” and “The Price is Right” before it moved to Los Angeles.

But to the unaltered, unwashed masses, he was most famous as the announcer for Lorne Michaels “Saturday Night Live” every season except for season 7. Pardo had a lifetime contract with NBC, but retired in 2004. But damned if he didn’t still do the show, flying in from his home in Arizona once a week, until recent years when he recorded the cast names at his home.

He appeared on the big screen as well in 1987’s “Radio Days” and had a cameo in “RECOiL.”

He is survived by his daughters, Paula, Dona and Katherine, two sons, David and Michael; five grandchildren; and three great-grandchildren. Continue reading

Idiot Suing ESPN After “College Gameday” Daily Trivia Calendar Incorrect Answer To Trivia Question Cost Him Round Of Drinks

Calendar of Tomorrow

The estimated cost is $3000 per unit. Engineers are working hard to make the disposable device’s batteries last the whole year.

Pine Bluff, AR—A man has filed a lawsuit against cable sports giant ESPN after he lost a bar bet based on information he learned from an ESPN “College Gameday” trivia calendar.

The question at issue in the case was from the January 31 calendar page, which read, “Who holds the SEC single-season record for rushing touchdowns?” Unfortunately, in a horrible proof-reading error, the answer given at the bottom of the page reads, “Southern California in 1932 and 1933.” (When everybody knows it was Tim Tebow in 2007 with 20. Duh.)

As a result of the misinformation, John Braddock, 23, had to fork over more than $500.00 to cover the other patrons’ drinks. The price of the tab forced Braddock to have to sell his 1994 Chevy S-10 pickup truck.

His attorney released this statement: “Not only did my client suffer monetary damages in having to pay for the entire bar’s drinks after providing the incorrect answer, he also suffered irreparable damage to his reputation, pain and suffering and mental anguish. His girlfriend of 10 months has left him over this matter, taking his baby son with her. He is now estranged from his family and is a laughing stock at what was formerly his favorite watering hole.”
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Losing “Jeopardy” Contestant Files Lawsuit To Prevent Episode Of His Horrible, Horrible Performance From Being Aired

David Perrin:  Jeopardy Embarrassment

This grainy cellphone picture is alleged to be the only evidence of David Perrin's embarrassing Jeopardy performance besides the HD recording Perrin is fighting to make sure never sees the light of day.

Albuquerque, NM—For years now, David Perrin’s been telling his wife he was smart enough to get on “Jeopardy,” and that he was smart enough to win big on it. It turns out he was half right. But unfortunately, if he and his attorney have their way, neither his wife nor the American viewing audience will ever see Perrin crash and burn like no other contestant in the history of the storied program.

Perrin’s attorney has filed an injunction against “Jeopardy” that will prevent the show from airing and allowing the world to see Perrin fail more spectacularly than anyone ever thought possible on the quiz program.
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