Former “Deeder” Leader Phineas Downey Looking To Abolish Rock-Paper-Scissors Game In Schools

Rock, Paper, Scissors

TDQ scientists pitted rock, paper, and scissors against each other in the laboratory. The results were clear. Rock rules, paper sucks.

Phineas Downey is now taking his considerable skills in annoyance and attacking the school playgrounds, trying to ban the game rock-paper-scissors.

Downey is trying to get teachers, parents and school boards all over the country to sign his online petition to stop the game and ban it from recess and school playgrounds nationwide.

“It saddens me and sickens me that in this day and age, children are still engaging in, and schools are still allowing, a game that promotes violence, vandalism and intolerance,” Downey said. “If I ever have children, I hope that they can grow up in a world without these sorts of dangerous activities being so commonplace in our schools.”
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