Yankees After Chipper Jones To Replace A-Rod At Third?

Chipper Jones

Chipper Jones is seen trying things on for size, so to speak.

New York—Reports are coming out of New York that the Yankees were interested in replacing Alex Rodriguez with Chipper Jones at third base before the July 31st trade deadline after the Yankees slugger and admitted steroid cheat and philanderer broke his left hand and is likely lost for the rest of the season.

Yankee management has not denied reports that they had contacted Atlanta GM Frank Wren about the possibility of “renting” Jones for the last two months of the regular season. Wren could not be reached for comment.
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Comcast: “We’ll Stop Raising Rates As Soon As Customers Stop Canceling Their Service”

The Comcast Situation

This animated info-graphic illustrates how fewer customers must bear the burden to support Comcast.

New York—Comcast, the nation’s largest cable company, responded to an angry letter from a subscriber over rising subscription rates by saying they’d stop raising rates when customers stopped dropping the company.

“Because so many people have been brainwashed or duped into leaving the Comcast family,” the letter to customer Alfred Robinette of Albany, New York read, “we have been placed in the unenviable position of having to increase subscription rates for the loyal remaining customers in our family.”
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TDQ Investigates: A-Rod Finally Paying People To Lie For Him, Rather Than Doing It Himself

Four of a KindNew York—It’s about time, Alex Rodriguez. You’ve been able to afford this for years, but for some reason, in the past you had taken it upon yourself to lie to reporters about using steroids and lie to your wife about cheating on her. Now you’ve finally hired somebody to lie on your behalf about your poker playing, though they admitted later (how many stories about you have the phrase “admitted later?”) that you did play, but the stories coming out about you playing contained “factual inaccuracies.”
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