Ice Cream Executives Defend High Prices, Profits To Congress

Ice Cream Execs

The representative from Carvel remained in high spirits despite tough questions from Congress.

Washington, DC—Dragged before Congress as ice cream prices explode at the parlors in the Midwest following uprisings and protests earlier this year, “big ice cream” executives vigorously defended their business practices last week, pushing back against plans to cut tax breaks for the “big three” ice cream companies.

Dubbed the Close Big Ice Cream Tax Loopholes Act, the bill would eliminate tax subsidies for just the three largest ice cream parlors and direct those savings to pay down the deficit. The total deficit reduction is expected to be $23 billion over 15 years.
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James Franco Signs Exclusive ‘First Right Of Refusal’ Agreement With Every Studio, TV Production Company And Publisher In Los Angeles

James Franco

James Franco seen walking, chewing bubble gum, talking on the phone, recording an audio book, reading a script, listening to music, playing in a one man band, returning library books, finding a home for a lost kitten, exercising, and delivering coffee.

Los Angeles—James Franco just can’t get enough. After co-hosing the Academy Awards last month, he has now signed a contract with every movie studio, television production company and book and magazine publisher in Los Angeles that gives him the exclusive first right of refusal for every planned movie, TV show, book and magazine article. And he drew up the contract himself, to boot.

“Law school was somewhat tough,” Franco said. “But passing the bar exam was even harder. But that pales in comparison to getting my pilot’s license, which I should have by this Saturday.”

Besides getting a law degree, a pilot’s license, teaching a course at NYU about himself and being nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his performance as Aron Ralston in “127 Hours,” Franco received his undergraduate degree in June 2008 from UCLA and his MFA from Columbia in 2010. He is a Ph.D. student in English at Yale University, has a paper route when he is home in Los Angeles, just started his own lawncare service, does his own PR and make-up and is looking at opening a Dairy Queen this summer, “assuming the current ‘issues’ subside.”
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Sundae, Bloody Sundae: Nebraska Dairy Queen Caught In Blizzard Of Violence

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In a situation that some historians are comparing to the Neapolitan War, a cone of parlor unrest has emerged in the midwest. The violence, attributed by some experts to waffling corporate leadership, has been sprinkled with opportunistic looting and hate crimes. Most agree that there is, at best, a rocky road to stability.

Wahoo, NE–Customers are leaving the over-run Dairy Queen at the corner of Lincoln Ave. and 17th St. in droves, with scores scurrying across the street to Sonic to try and quench their thirst for frosty treats.

Around 60 people have crossed over Lincoln Ave. into Sonic’s parking lot, officials said, trying to flee the violence engulfing the restaurant known for for its smooth, creamy soft serve ice cream and delicious hamburgers and hot dogs.

With similar ice-cream store protests in nearby Omaha and Lincoln over the past two weeks, trouble has now spilled over to the DQ in Wahoo.

“There is absolutely no security there. It’s lawless” said Erick Abbott, an employee who works in the risk management department for the city and who eats at Dairy Queen “at least four times a week.”
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