TDQ Investigates: Authorities Cracking Down On Children Operating Illegal Lemonade Stands

Illegal Lemonade Stand

Another illegal lemonade stand feels the squeeze of tougher law enforcement, hopefully souring others on the lucrative but illegal business.

A lot has been made recently about police giving out tickets and fining the parents of children who are running lemonade stands without a permit. People are ranting and raving about “Big Brother” and “don’t the cops have better things to do” and “dammit, Brian, put the toilet seat down.”

Well, we here at TDQ are all for law enforcement enforcing laws. It’s their job. The laws are on the books for a reason. If they come across some nine year-old flouting the law by selling cool refreshing lemonade without a permit, we say, fine, fine them. (Not “fine them twice,” but, you know, we’re fine with them receiving fines.) For one thing, the kids aren’t paying business taxes. And for another, the stands aren’t regulated by health inspectors.
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Elementary School Teacher Sues School After Being Fired For Telling Class She Saw Tupac Shakur Alive And Rapping Under An Assumed Name

Salt Shakur

A purported Salt Shakur promotional poster provided by Ms. Thomas.

Tulsa, OK—MaryJean Thomas, a fifth-grade teacher at Shannon Miller Elementary School, was fired in September, and is now suing to get her job back. The school told her she was let go for poor performance, but she says she was let go because she said she saw dead rapper Tupac Shakur in concert over the summer, and the school thinks she’s “a whack job.”

“I excitedly told the children that Tupac was alive,” said Thomas. “I saw him at a concert in Norman, and was fortunate enough to meet him backstage and get the real story about why he faked his death.”

Thomas went on to explain that Shakur faked his own death in Las Vegas in 1996 over security concerns about enemies his parents made as Black Panthers, but was confident he had enough money to survive quietly for the rest of his live in obscurity. “But he invested his money with Bernie Madoff,” said Thomas. “So he gets ripped off, loses everything and has to start rapping again. But he knows he can’t use his real name, so Tupac Shakur changed his first name to Salt, and raps at small venues in the mid-west.” Continue reading