According to numerous sources who are, sadly for them, close to McCarver, he has recently taken to “sitting in his recliner reading the sports pages and just being miserable reading names like (Kansas City Royal outfielder) Norichika Aoki, (Royals infielder) Alcides Escobar and (Royals pitcher) Yordano Ventura. It kills him seeing those names, just thinking of how he could mispronounce them differently each game despite being told by numerous people how to properly say them.”
Mercifully, McCarver retired after calling last year’s World Series for Fox, and the broadcast airwaves have been all the better for it. True, websites dedicated to how horribly McCarver polluted the air have and mangled the poor, defenseless English language had to look elsewhere for terrible commentary during natinally-broadcast sporting events, but his legacy of malapropisms and ridiculous tales does live on.
Said one poor bastard source, nearly in tears, “I mean, really, just take a second and think about the incredible things he could do with names like (San Francisco Giants pitcher) Yusmeiro Petit and (Giants first baseman) NLCS hero Travis Ishikawa. And his awful stories? You don’t think he’s come up with more horrible, in appropriate, nonsensical stories in the past year? The world is missing out. His friends are suffering tremendously, but the world is missing out.” Continue reading