Major Stipulation In Sale Of Los Angeles Dodgers Is That They Change Sports And Become Football Team

Dodger's Football

Artist's concept of the transition from baseball to football at the existing Dodger's stadium.

Los Angeles—Several sources have confirmed that whoever the rich sucker that swoops in to buy the troubled Los Angeles Dodgers turns out to be has been told by Major League Baseball that the team has to make the switch from playing baseball to professional football to get any ownership bid approved.

Whoever that is, according to sources, will get a $70 million discount on the Dodgers’ price tag to make the move. The Dodgers have been in LA since they left Brooklyn after the 1957 season, and have been playing baseball since 1883.

The team won’t make the move to the NFL until 2013. It will finally put an end to the question of what team will move to the new stadium in Los Angeles once it’s completed, leaving every NFL team in its current hometown, despite the Oakland Raiders praying to move back to Southern California.

The foundation of this change is expected to be a new basic agreement between NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and the worst thing that ever happened to baseball, MLB “Commissioner” Bud Selig.

In a Twitter chat on the Colorado Rockies Twitter feed, Selig addressed the subject by saying, “For a variety of reasons, this settled a number of logistical issues for the NFL, who really just lets me alone as long as I do whatever the memos I get every Monday tell me to. Plus, this creates more fairness in baseball, I’m told.”

Selig added, “29 total teams would necessitate interleague play every day but it will be better schedule overall, Overlord Goodell has prophesized.”

“We’re trying to build the best product we can given the fact that nobody really watches, or cares about or talks about or writes about baseball anymore,” Selig said, after reminding the Twitterverse that people are still paid to play professional baseball.

Pittsburgh (Pirates? Right? The Pirates are the team inPittsburgh?) general manager Neal (Patrick) Huntington said moving from the NL to the NFL will be painful for the Dodgers in a couple of ways.

Dodgers Football Uniforms

A mock up of Dodgers football uniforms.

“It’s going to cost more money because you have to pay more players,” said Huntington. “If my math is right, I mean 53 is more than 25. But at least, most people figure people in LA will go see football, whereas most people I’ve spoken to around the league forget the Dodgers are still in southern California until they see the schedule every year. But I think it will work out in the end.”

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