“Deeder” Leader Finds New Direction, Something Else To Get All Worked Up About–Sorry, “Something Up About Which To Get All Worked”

WTF LOL OMFG

Does Deeder leader Phineas Downey have a point about the overuse of text messaging derived abbreviations? IDK

Phineas Downey, leader of the self-proclaimed “Deeder” group, whose failed lawuit seeking to force President Obama to show proof that he has a right to live in the White House was thrown out of court last month, has found a new cause. He wants to make poor spelling, grammar and internet and texting shorthand fineable offenses.

He has started a petition that would begin with forcing Facebook to deactivate a member’s account if they write “alot,” “your welcome,” “to cute,” “there house,” and other “equally heynous (sic) crimes against the English language.” He’s trying to make “LOL” be redacted unless the member who posted that was indeed actually laughing out loud.

“I talk good,” Downey said, “me and my wife both talk proper. It don’t seem right that people can’t take the time they ought to to press them buttons the right way, instead of using them ’emoticon’ buttons and that ‘LOL’ nonsense. What is that?” Continue reading

Wikileaks Releases Tense Text Exchange Between CIA And FBI After FBI Embarrassed CIA In Front Of The President And The CIA’s Friends Who Were In Town For The Weekend

CIA, FBI

Inter-agency tensions on the rise.

Washington, DC—It appears tensions were especially high between the CIA director and FBI directer earlier this year after they had dinner at the White House with a few friends of the CIA who had come into town, according to Wikileaks. The internet  organization known for publishing submissions of private media has released texts in its possession of a heated back-and-forth between the directors.

“If you don’t have any idea why we’re upset, we sure as hell aren’t going to tell you,” the first text from the CIA director read. Continue reading

Obama “Responds” To Deeders’ Accusations And Requests For Proof He Has Right To Live In The White House


White House TV Room

Despite heckling from the Deeders opposition group the stage was set for President Obama to enjoy the Oscars from a White House sitting room specially equipped for the event. The 100 inch plasma has been called "too big for the room" by several world leaders. Others question why a more efficient LED TV wasn't selected, but the answer is simple. They just aren't available in that size.

Washington—Nearly a week after self-proclaimed “Deeders” announced they were filing a lawsuit that would force President Obama to produce legal documents proving he had a right to live in the White House, and several months after first attempting to force him to provide the documents, President Obama responded to the Deeders during the annual White House Oscar Party. Sort of.

“You won’t get me to say how ridiculous these idiots’ request is. I won’t do it,” Obama said. “I refuse to tell you how moronic and stupid it is for these jackasses to waste my time, your time, and the American public’s time. I won’t say it.”

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New Fringe Group Wants To See Obama’s Title Deed To The White House, Or “At Least His Copy Of The Lease Or Something”

Where is Obama's proof of residence?

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Washington–A new group hailing from the far, far, far right calling themselves “Deeders” is calling for President Obama to provide proof he has a right to live in the White House.

“It’s been two years,” said Lead Deeder Phineas Downey. “I would certainly think that he would have the proper documents to show he belongs in that house and has a right to live there. That’s all we want.” Continue reading