Three Unforgettable Years Of Interweb Domination Is Merely The Beginning

3 Years of The Daily Quarterly

Celebrating three years of The Daily Quarterly. (There was a slight misunderstanding at the cake shop.)

We don’t remember if it was Voltaire or Floyd the Barber who said, “If you can make it to your third anniversary as a satirical news website, that’s really quite an achievement,” but which ever wise man it was, we humbly agree.

And to reach this milestone in an environment of ridiculously short attention spans, Snapchat and Honey Boo-boo, well, we’re even more proud. And despite being on The Illuminati’s watch list, at that!

But as long as there are idiot athletes out there lying and cheating (and there always are), or films to be made with Denzel Washington in roles of varying sizes, or just jerks acting like the jerks they are, then we’ll be here to inform you about them. Has A-Rod sued anybody else lately? Just give us a minute, we’ll let you know!

There is never a shortage of idiocy in the world (look for that on a mug coming soon), and we pledge to unmask the idiots and say they’re naked, just like the emperor, as long as he isn’t shooting Force Lightning at us. Or whatever.

And like Tony Romo remaining the starter for the Dallas Cowboys of Dallas despite having only one playoff win in eight season’s (look it up), we have no intention of quitting anytime soon, regardless of the results or numbers. He should run for congress when he’s done. One accomplishment in eight years is par for the course.

Oh. Enter shameless plug for “Harnessing the Power of Spite To Achieve Your Goals” here. Take notes, kids. That right there was a classic segue. Not to be confused with a Segway Classic.

So here’s to three great years of bringing you all the information on the web you can choke down, and to dozens more.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

Tony Romo Undergoes Back Surgery, Should Still Be Able To Lose Opening Game Of Regular Season

Tony Romo

Despite the poor timing Romo had no choice than to have his back cyst removed. It was becoming a distraction.

Dallas, TX—Dallas Cowboys quarterback and Super Bowl Party host extraordinaire Tony Romo won’t participate in organized team activities and is out through the spring because of minor back surgery, the team said on its website.

Romo, who had a cyst removed, should be back and ready to go by the start of training camp, the site said.

“If this was the regular season and I had to go out and lose a game next week, I could,” Romo told “The Dallas Morning News” last week. “This is just about being smart. That’s why I did it now. This will have no effect on training camp. No way will it have an impact. And I still think there’s a good chance I’m on the field for mini-camp, where I can give false hope to Cowboy fans everywhere, like I do annually.”
Continue reading

Cowboys “Quarterback” Tony Romo Excited For Season To Start, Says 16-Game Regular Season “Plenty Long Enough”

Tony Romo

Tony Romo shares the same dream as any other NFL Quarterback: To win the U.S. Open golf championship.

Oxnard, CA—With expectations as high as ever for the Dallas Cowboys as they head into the NFL season, star quarterback Tony Romo said he’s excited to start the season, but thinks all the talk of extending the number of games in the regular season to 18 or 20 is premature and silly.

“I can’t even imagine playing more than 16 games in one season,” Romo said after taking a break about seven minutes into practice yesterday. “I don’t understand guys who talk about wanting to play more games. Sixteen games is plenty. I have a life, you know.”

Romo said he’s “dog tired” come the end of January, when the regular season winds down. He said he really enjoys sitting at home during the NFL playoffs and watching his peers “play world-class football. I’m a fan, too. It’s fun to watch.”

Romo points to the annual Super Bowl party he hosts, and said it’s his favorite part of the entire football season. Plus, he has other interests, including golf, to keep him busy during the offseason.
Continue reading

Tony Romo “Super Excited” To Host His 6th Annual Super Bowl Party At His House

Tony Romo

Tony Romo puts his game face on for another Super Bowl at home.

Dallas—Come this Super Bowl Sunday, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo will be at the same place he’s been for the last five Super Bowls after taking over for Drew Bledsoe under center: at home hosting a Super Bowl party, and that’s just fine with him.

“There really, truly is no place I’d rather be,” Romo said. “I honestly can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing on Super Bowl Sunday than hosting a few hundred of my closest friends, firing up the barbecue and watching great football. I look forward to it every year.”
This is the sixth straight year, all with Romo as the starting quarterback for Dallas, that he’ll be hosting his party, and each year gets bigger and bigger.
Continue reading

TDQ Tech For The Week Of 12/5/11

The GrinderyIn this week’s TDQ Tech, The Grindery brings us a story about a shopping decision everyone can relate to, and a piece showing that some recent “occupy” demonstrations are not as successful as others.

We tried to attend one of those “occupy” rallies at a local shopping center just last weekend. But it was unseasonably hot, plus the Cowboys game was on, and we really wanted to see Tony Romo throw as many interceptions as we can before he gets benched. So between the game, the weather and the fact that there were no hot chicks around, we totally bailed. Maybe if these occupy things are still going on in February, after the NFL season’s over and it’s not like 90 degrees out, we’ll try again. Maybe.

You are now technologically informed. Go and do likewise.