Naïve, Simple-Minded Rube Certain That Deal Reached On “Fiscal Cliff” Will Signal New Era In Political Harmony, End Bipartisanship


Is a new era of bipartisanship upon us? We don’t think so.

Omaha, NE—When local yokel Peter Newhouse opened up his morning newspaper last week to find that Washington lawmakers had reached an agreement to avert the so-called “fiscal cliff” and, for the time-being at least, keep the country out of another likely recession, the poor sap thought the agreement signaled that 2013 would be a watershed year, and politics would no longer be such a divisive, polarizing topic.

“It’s all over, all the animosity and hatred,” a ridiculously optimistic Newhouse said. “I can feel it. You watch. 2013 is going to be great. No more bickering, no more anger between the parties. People from all over the country will come together and we’ll get back on track in constructive, productive dialogues what will really solve the problems facing America. I’m excited!”
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Maine Man Surprised, A Little Disappointed His Business Trip To Atlanta Wasn’t Filled With “Beverly Hillbillies,” “Honey Boo-Boo” Characters

Southern Caricatures

The Clampetts of “The Beverly Hillbillies” look downright regal compared to Shannon family of “Honey Boo Boo” fame.

Bangor, ME—All his life, Maine native Mark Teague assumed, based on every single TV show set in the South, that anyone who was born or lived south of the Mason-Dixon Line wore only overalls without shoes, stopped going to school after third grade to help their Pa raise pigs and corn on the farm and thought NASCAR was the absolute greatest thing on the face of the Earth.

Thanks to programs like “The Andy Griffith Show,” “The Beverly Hillbillies” and current fare like “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo,” Teague was certain that the business trip he took last month to Atlanta would be chock-full of uneducated rubes who would spit tobacco on his “fancy city-shoes” as soon as they saw him, and the only food he’d be able to find would be grits, collard greens and fried chicken.
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TV Legend Andy Griffith Dies

Andy Griffith

RECOiL writer/director/actor and Time Lord Brian DiMaio, right, met Andy Griffith, left, in early 1960 when DiMaio screen tested for the role of Griffith’s deputy sherrif. In the end cronyism would prevail and the role would go to Griffith pal Don Knotts.

Manteo, NC—Legendary actor Andy Griffith, star of two of the most memorable television shows in history, died last Tuesday at his home. He was 86.

Griffith appeared as Andy Taylor, the sheriff in fictional Mayberry, NC, on “The Andy Griffith Show” from 1960 to 1968. He found success on TV again decades later as attorney Benjamin Matlock on “Matlock,” which ran from 1986 to 1995.

Besides being well known on the small screen, Griffith also starred in films like “A Face in the Crowd,” “No Time for Sergeants,” “Waitress,” “RECOiL” and “Spy Hard.”

In 1992, Griffith was inducted into the Academy of Television Arts Hall of Fame. In 2005, he received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the country’s highest civilian honors.
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