Denver—Despite decades of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, self-desribed “uber soccer fan” Austin Adams is adamant that the United States of America should and does care about whatever the hell is going on in FIFA.

Apparently, the U.S. Justice Department issued some arrest warrants or bench warrants or treaties or something last week that led to a number (three? nine? 20? Who knows?) of arrests for, something. Maybe embezzlement, maybe bribery, maybe whatever Leonardo DiCaprio was arrested for in “Wolf of Wall Street.”

And it seems that in Adams’ pot-hazed mind, he expects most Americans, whether they like real sports or not, to give a rat’s rear end about the people arrested and the charges the U.S. Attorney General is trying to levy against them. Maybe extradition is involved, too? Who really knows. Continue reading →