TDQ Investigates: Is Jane Goodall The Latest Celebrity To Get Into Bed With “Big Whale?”

Jane Goodall

While a direct association between Goodall and whaling has been difficult to prove internet detectives have found this recent photo from Instagram user CaptainAyyy captioned “Fishing for the big one.”

We were afraid this would happen. It was only a matter of time.

The recent news of famed monkey scientist Jane Goodall jumping on the bandwagon and calling for SeaWorld to be closed down is just another example of a well-known celebrity, or spokesperson or athlete who say one thing about sea creatures and dolphins and the like, but who really are in the pockets of Big Whale.

And as anybody with a primate brain knows, Big Whale really wants every single whale currently residing at aquariums and water parks and the like to be released back into the wild, so they can be hunted down, Moby Dick-style, for their blubber and whale oil, like it’s 1850 again. It’s just another offshoot of the Illuminati.

But you loyal readers of The Daily Quarterly already know this.

Celebr-activists like Gwyneth Paltrow, George Clooney and Rosie O’Donnell are all famous pawns in Big Whale’s game, causing distractions in an effort to take our attention away from the real issue: Mind control and the brainwashing that is and has been running rampant in Hollywood.

Goodall and her ilk aren’t worried about the other animals SeaWorld takes care of and keeps off the streets and provides an education for. You think dolphins could last a week on their own out in the world? They need to be hand fed and taught to jump through literal hoops on a daily basis. And without kids on school field trips who buy shrimp to feed them, how will the sting rays eat on a daily basis? Is Jane going to provide them food every day? Of course not, she only deals with monkeys.

And what about the penguins? What about the penguins?

In typical Big Whale form, just like many other “celebrities,” The Jane Goodall Institution did not immediately respond to a request for comment. And that, sadly, is telling in and of itself.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise. Continue reading