TDQ Investigates: The Downward Spiral Of Song Lyrics Today

Jagger Moves

Dong get us wrong here. No one is saying Jagger doesn’t have moves.
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More Jagger Moves

It’s just the thing about Jagger moves is…
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Even more Jagger Moves

Moves like Jagger’s should not be coveted nor extolled.
(Image Credit: micgifs.tumblr.com)

What in the hell has happened to song lyrics these days? It’s a topic that bothers us here at TDQ headquarters on a daily basis. Where have all the great songwriters, the James Taylors and Gordon Lightfoots (Lightfeet?) of the world gone? For every Taylor Swift today there are ten Pit Bulls. We defy you to find somebody today who could pen a song about a shipwreck in one of the Great Lakes that would be worth remembering.

This piece is the first in a series of editorials we have about the sad, dismal state of songwriting today. We have no doubt we won’t be running out of material any time soon.

To wit: “Moves like (Mick) Jagger?” Really? Moves like Jagger? That’s the best you got? Why not, “Moves like (Latin ballroom dancing champion) Riccardo Cocchi?” Huh? Huh, Adam Levine? Was Maroon 5 intentionally trying to be controversial, or were they pandering to The Rolling Stones? Let’s be transparent, Adam, like you are on your on your “Adam Levine for Proactiv Plus” that so many acne-suffering insomniacs are all too familiar with.

And “Take me by the tongue” at the beginning of the chorus? Boy, oh boy. If you were taken by the tongue, as you so eloquently state, Mr. Levine, how in the world could you sing about it? Think, man, think! Hashtag: sad.

As we said earlier, there are plenty of songs we have issues with. We aren’t just picking on the lousy lyrics in this one particular Maroon 5 song. We have plenty to say about plenty other artists, like Carrie Underwood and the hottest thing to come out of New Zealand since “Lord of the Rings, “Lorde, too, which we’ll get to. “Royals,” indeed.

So keep your eye on this space, and your ears on the lookout for more horrible lyrics. You won’t have to search long to hear plenty. And we’ll help you through it.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise. Continue reading