Orange Juice Company CEO Says It’s Not His Fault Consumers Thought “Squeezed By Hand” Implied Orange Juice Was Hand-Squeezed

Handy-Squeeze Orange Juice

Handy-Squeeze Orange Juice lawyers say that not only is the orange juice squeezed by the Handy Squeeze 3000 machine, good for a technicality, but the machine is started and stopped by a human daily.

Tampa, FL—The CEO of the second-largest orange juice producer in the state is attacking reports by the Tampa Tribune questioning why the company doesn’t actually use people to hand-squeeze their juice when their entire marketing campaign says it does exactly that.

Charles Apple, who was named CEO of Handy-Squeeze Orange Juice in 2009, initially refused to be interviewed by Tampa Tribune business reporter Jason Waldrup for an article he wrote last Sunday. But when the piece the newspaper ran questioned why the orange juice was manufactured using machines and robots in a large factory in south Florida, Apple took to the company’s website to defend its manufacturing process.
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TDQ Investigates: George Lucas Adding “NO!” To “Return Of The Jedi” Scene Where Vader Tosses The Emperor

Star Wars Fans Unite

An alliance of fans rebel against the recent changes made by Lucas to upcoming Star Wars Blu Ray disc releases poised to bolster the Lucasfilm movie empire.

Here we go again. People who have nothing better to do are once again upset with visionary billionaire filmmaker George Lucas for improving upon films that he made nearly 30 years ago. He’s using technology today that wasn’t available to him when he made the “Star Wars” “trilogy” to make them far more enjoyable and watchable.

This time, uber-nerds are all up in arms over him making that dude who dresses in black vinyl yell “NO!” as he tosses the old dude in his bathrobe over some railing and down some sort of shaft or something in the movie with the giant slug and the walking teddy bears. And said nerds are taking to the medium they know best to show their outrage: social media.
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George Lucas Admits Jar Jar Binks Was His Favorite “Star Wars” Character; Doesn’t Really Get All The Love For Boba Fett

Red Tails

The scene at a Red Tails press conference turned Lucas-Con moments after Lucas stormed off.

New York—Despite being in town for a press junket to promote his upcoming Tuskegee Airmen film, “Red Tails” starring Cuba Gooding, Jr., filmmaking icon George Lucas was asked endlessly about his other films, particularly the six “Star Wars” movies. So after the seventh or eighth question about Princess Leia talking about memories of her mother in “Return of the Jedi” despite her mother dying during childbirth at the end of “Revenge of the Sith,” Lucas apparently had finally had enough of trying to talk about his future World War II film and let loose. Continue reading