TDQ Investigates: Getting Your Election Recommendations From T.I.

T.I.

T.I. is said to be shopping around a weekly show about politics. He feels this next presidential election is too important for him not to get his advice heard.

Far be it from us to give rapper T.I. a hard time for admitting he would have a hard time voting for Hillary Clinton or any other woman for that matter, to be the Leader of the Free World. Man spoke from his heart. He’s just a little bit wary of the very real possibility of some lady setting off a nuke since they make those “rash decisions emotionally.”

Amen, brother. We’re married. We get it. If we had a dollar for every rash decision our wives made emotionally, we’d be rich. Almost as rich as T.I.

But it got us wondering if he had folks listening intently to whomever he would endorse for president. Is he going to drop a sick beat (sorry, Taylor Swift) just before the election next year to tell his fans how he thinks they should “rock the vote?” (Is that still a thing? Aside from “Teen Mom OG,” we don’t watch MTV in our house. Do musicians and VJs still do commercials telling viewers to Rock the Vote?)

How thoroughly is he watching the debates? Was he one of the record number of viewers who tuned in to the Democratic debate on CNN recently? Is he sick about hearing about Hillary’s e-mails too? What rhymes with “Hillary’s e-mails too?”

We personally think it would be great if he would do an op-ed piece for the New York Times or maybe Politico about who he thinks should live in the White House come January 2017. That would be great. Or maybe he could do some prognosticating on FiveThirtyEight.com now that Nate Silver is too busy lowering himself to covering sports. (New England Patriots versus Roger Goodell? How crass.)

We’re not sure what school T.I. got his political science degree from. Maybe he got it online. Or maybe at Moore Educational Tech. We don’t judge.

We’re just glad he took the time out to inform us of his well-thought-out, well-researched, informed views. He can pen something for us anytime.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

Illuminati “A Bit Miffed” That Nate Silver Is Getting All This Election Credit, When All He Did Was Copy And Publicize Their Numbers

A secret lair, possibly in the Rocky Mountains—With all the buzz that statistician Nate Silver has been getting lately over his correct predictions of the presidential election, some members of the Illuminati have confirmed they are unhappy that Silver is being portrayed as some number-crunching whiz kid, when everybody knows the numbers simply played out the way the Illuminati wanted them to.

A highly-placed source within the organization, who spoke to TDQ under the threat of torture and death if his/her identity is revealed, said Silver simply was given some sensitive information and regurgitated it to the naïve masses like the outcome of the election wasn’t already written in stone by the people who actually run the world.

“Somebody blabbed when they shouldn’t have and they’ll be dealt with accordingly,” the source said. “Was that somebody a high-ranking military member currently engulfed in a torrid sex scandal and potentially looking at treason charges? Who knows? Or could that person be a teenage Canadian pop star who just broke up with his Disney star girlfriend? Maybe, maybe not.”
Continue reading