TDQ Investigates: Some Chick Scientist Says Men Will One Day Become Extinct

Evolution Of Man

If men evolve into women there will be more women for us men. The male readers know what
I’m talking about!

Apparently “scientist” Jenny Graves has this “theory” that the Y chromosome, which us manly, charming, men only have one of, had been left, over the course of time, with around 100 genes she dubbed as mainly “junk.” She said this in a recent talk she gave to the Australian “Academy” of Science. Therefore, she said, we males of the species are on our way out.

As soon as my wife explained what all this meant, I immediately finished my beer and steak, took a nap, had her explain it to me again, finished watching the ball game and came on here to voice my male opinion about how ridiculous it is that we men are facing extinction.

At first, I admit I was thrilled, thinking this news would get me out of having to mow the lawn or take out the garbage, and that I could spend the remainder of my time on this Earth watching golf. But it looks like we’ve got some time. “Professor” Graves says we won’t completely go the way of the dodo for about another five million years or so.
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NASCAR Driver Suspended For Trying To Cut Another Car’s Tire During Race

David Reutimann

David Reutimann in an alleged tire slashing incident on the track. Michael Waltrip Raciing claims their driver was just stretching during the hours long race.

By: Fred DiMaio

Daytona, FL—In what appears to be NASCAR first, officials have suspended Michael Waltrip Racing driver David Reutimann indefinitely for allegedly cutting an opponent’s tire, during the Tums Fast Relief 500 at Martinsville race on October 30th.

NASCAR officials were tipped off by an unnamed car’s “spotter,” who alerted an official saying he saw something hanging out a car, but thought at first it was a fender or something; he couldn’t believe it was a human.
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“Every Now And Then, We Re-enact The Dead Body Scene From ‘Stand By Me’ At The Park:” A TDQ Q&A With Actor Chad Jamian Williams

Beverly Hills Cop

Chad Jamian Williams teams up with his favorite actor Jaleel White in an artist's impression of what would be an awesome movie.

This week, The Daily Quarterly spoke to actor and Coke Zero spokesdrinker Chad Jamian Williams. Chad gave us the skinny on David Boreanaz, has some advice for aspiring actors aaaaaaand addresses the rumors about his involvement in “Goonies 2.” Here is this week’s TDQ Q&A with Chad Jamian Williams:

The Daily Quarterly: How did you hear about

Chad Jamian Williams: Through the ad you guys stuck on my windshield that rain and heat has prevented me from removing.

TDQ: How excited were you that The Daily Quarterly asked you for an interview?

CJW: So excited that I skipped “The Talk” to be with you guys today.

TDQ: What made you want to be in show business?

CJW: Believe it or not, mostly by watching Michael Jackson videos. When I was eight years old, I was acting a’fool in the backseat of my parent’s car, so they purchased me Michael Jackson’s Dangerous cassette. So, instead of sports or normal eight-year-old stuff, I just watched his movies and listened to his music. And that eventually brought me out to Hollywood. Think of the beginning of “The Jerk.” Continue reading

Source Says Playboy Will Team Up With Major Coal Company To Sponsor Sprint Cup Car In 2012

Playboy Magazine & Richard Coal Extraction

Smut peddler Playboy Magazine teams up with soot peddler Richard Coal Extraction.

Los Angeles—It seems “Playboy” founder and hall of fame ladies man Hugh Hefner has found something to occupy his attention since being jilted by his fiancee Crystal Harris last month. Rumors are flying out of Los Angeles that “Playboy” will be teaming up with Richard Coal Extraction out of Richard, West Virginia to sponsor a NASCAR Sprint Cup car next year.

A source close to Hefner with intimate knowledge of his business dealings said the gentleman’s magazine is very close to closing a deal with the coal company.

“They’re like, days away from saying something,” the source said on the condition of anonymity. “It will be soooo cool. I’ve ridden in one of those NASCAR cars before, and it was really, really hot. I don’t remember the driver’s name, but he was pretty cute.”
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New Study Shows That Nine Out Of Ten Married Men Suffer From Adult On-Set Hyper-Inactivity Disorder

AOHIDA new study released by the Center For Disease Control shows that nearly 92% of married men over the age of 50 suffer from Adult On-set Hyper-Inactivity Disorder.

The disease is characterized by long naps in the afternoon, often taken in recliners in front of TV; not being able to stay up at night past the 10:00 news; and not having the energy for late dinners with friends or going out dancing with their wives.

“We typically find that some early symptoms first appear in men in their mid-to-late twenties,” Dr. Armush Lindell from the CDC said. “And most men don’t show any signs of hyper-inactivity until a few months after they get married. Whereas most single men are able to stay out late and are full of energy and ambition, it seems once they get married, they experience apathy, sluggishness and an overall inability to focus on anything their wives are talking about.” Continue reading