NASA Working To Predict Crash And Burn Of Kim Kardashian’s Marriage

Kardashian Control Center

A glimpse inside NASA's Kardashian Control Center. The E! television network contracted NASA to conduct the study so they can plan their programming accordingly. NASA will, literally, take anything it can get.

Cape Canaveral, FL—NASA scientists said yesterday they are doing their best to tell us when the marriage between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will fail later this year. It’s just that if they’re a little bit off, it could mean the difference between paparazzi having to fly from Florida or from New York. Or, say, Los Angeles or Las Vegas.

Pinpointing where and when the total collapse of this doomed marriage will ultimately happen is an imprecise science at best. For now, scientists predict the earliest it will fail is Thursday, October 7th, the latest Saturday, December 31st.

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NASA: “Recycling Not Worth The Effort”

Launch Vehicles

We can assume that the increased costs associated with recycling carry over into everyday life. Therefore we, like NASA, should look to disposable solutions instead of bothering with recycling.

Cape Kennedy, FL—In an announcement sure to make many environmentalists angry, officials at NASA have released a statement denouncing recycling, calling it a “waste of time.”

After years and years of touting the benefits for the planet of recycling aluminum, paper and glass, the space administration said their findings didn’t support that notion, NASA General Director Cecil Fullerton said in a statement.
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