Matt Lauer Makes Unprompted Denial Of Possible Involvement in Katie Couric Show Cancellation

Lauer and Couric

Lauer and Couric have worked through many eras and hairstyles both thick and thin.

New York—Host of “The Today Show” and former Katie Couric BFF Matt Lauer called a press conference yesterday on the heels of the rumors of the upcoming cancellation of Couric’s flailing talk show, to publicly announce he had nothing to do with the expected cancellation.

Lauer said he wanted to set the record straight before anybody asked that, just like his lack of involvement in the Ann Curry firing debacle last year, he is not responsible for the pending cancellation of Katie Couric’s talk show on ABC.

“It would be bad journalism and completely wrong for anybody to jump to the absurd conclusion that I am behind the cancellation of that garbage, ‘The Katie Couric Show’, or whatever the hell it’s called,” Lauer said at the outset of his press conference. “I did not have any communication whatsoever with anyone in charge at ABC and force them to cancel the program because Katie made the career-killing choice to not return to ‘The Today Show’ last fall despite my best efforts at convincing her to come back, and this is my ingenious way of getting back at that no-talent cow.”
Continue reading

TDQ Investigates: The Jane Goodall Plagiarism Scandal

Jane Goodall Fact Checker

Jane Goodall claims she had her book, “Seeds of Hope,” scrutinized by many esteemed colleagues.

If you’re like us, your world was rocked last week when word broke that Jane Goodall’s new book, set to be released in April, quite possible plagiarized a good chunk of it.

As much as we’d love to see Sigourney Weaver act out scenes of Jane Goodall writing a book (just imagine her at a typewriter pecking away and having a conversation with a gorilla, handing him a banana at the same time. Hilarious!), it pains us to learn that the researcher and scientist famous for living with apes is just the latest in a string of high-profile plagiarists.

In an article we totally are linking to accurately, Goodall’s latest book, “Seeds of Hope,” was apparently found by independent researchers to have several passages plagiarized from various sources, including our favorite go-to “source” site, Wikipedia.

While we certainly understand that it’s difficult to write a book, and we would assume it’s even more difficult to write a good one, we have to wonder how much of the other stuff Goodall has written is true, in light of these allegations.
Continue reading

New Book Rips Poor, Innocent, Likeable Matt Lauer

Matt Lauer

Matt Lauer: Soley responsible for everything bad in the world? Some say yes.

New York—A new tell-all e-book is coming out next week aimed at exposing all the wrongs “Today Show” host and current most-hated man on the planet Matt Lauer is responsible for. It’s entitled, “Matt Lauer Thinks You’re A Big Fat Jerk, Worse, Even, Than Ann Curry,” and it’s being published by Bridge Publications.

Just a few of the evils mentioned in the book that he is 100% responsible for include:

Matt Lauer was behind the Manti Te’o hoax. Matt Lauer reduced the amount of cookies in each box of Girl Scout cookies. Matt Lauer formed the band “Nickelback.”

It was Matt Lauer who decided that Netflix should charge more money for fewer movies. Matt Lauer owns Groupon. And Myspace.

Matt Lauer hacked your Twitter account and sent all those weight loss pill tweets. Matt Lauer introduced John Gosselin to Kate. And then be broke them up.

Matt Lauer cancelled “Arrested Development,” “Firefly” and “Veronica Mars.” Matt Lauer sent E.T. home. Matt Lauer started all the negative press about Lolo Jones. Matt Lauer shot J.R. Both times.
Continue reading

Sources: Matt Lauer Is The Reason Pope Benedict XVI “Retired”

Matt Lauer with Pope Benedict

Matt Lauer with Pope Benedict in happier times.

New York—Does newly minted Pope Francis I have “Today Show” host Matt Lauer to thank for him getting the gig? Multiple sources with great connections inside the NBC daytime staple have told The Daily Quarterly exclusively that Lauer was unhappy with Pope Benedict, and worked hard “but behind the scenes” to “persuade” the pontiff that he should take an early retirement, thus clearing the way for Francis’ election earlier this month.

One source said she wasn’t certain what Lauer’s issue with Benedict was exactly, “he just was never sold on him taking over” in 2005. “Matt was never happy, and even, from what I’m being told, tried to get Katie (Couric) to take the job somehow, but it never panned out for her to move to Rome, plus she had her daytime talk show that she was working on.”

NBC executives would not return phone calls left seeking comment on this most recent Lauer allegation, but “if history shows us anything, it’s that whatever Matt wants he gets, and later on, the suits at 30 Rock will fall all over themselves to be the scapegoats. You watch,” one of the sources said.
Continue reading

Ann Curry Hoping To Transition To News Outlet With Less Stringent Truth And Accuracy Standards, Like CNN

Ann Curry

Sources indicate that Ann Curry will spice up the CNN lineup by filling an obvious gap in the lineup: entertainment news. Titled CNNtertainment the new show hopes to bring TMZ style reporting to CNN.

New York—Recently ousted “Today Show” co-host Ann Curry is wasting no time trying to land her next news anchor gig, and she’s setting her sights squarely on a cable network that has much lower standards of getting the news right than NBC: CNN.

Curry said she enjoyed working at NBC, but understood it was time to move on to “smaller and lesser things” and find somewhere that she would be less stressed out about getting a story right or asking important questions of interview subjects.
Continue reading