Manny Ramirez Return Possibly On Hold After He Learns He Still Faces 50-Game Suspension

Manny Ramirez

Manny Ramirez will attempt to maintain his athletics by exercising with patrons of the local YMCA while he sits out the next 50 games.

Phoenix, AZ—Smiles of joy were replaced with frowns of confusion last week when recently un-retired slugger Manny Ramirez showed up to Oakland A’s spring training but was told he still had to miss the first 50 games of the 2012 season as punishment for his failure of another drug test last year.

Ramirez said he was “stoked” to return to baseball with Oakland after “retiring” during the first month of the 2011 season after playing five games for the Tampa Bay Rays. “I can’t wait to suit up and play baseball in Oakland,” Ramirez said as he walked into the clubhouse upon his arrival in Phoenix. “I love the east coast. Oakland is great.”
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Baseball Loses Another Role Model: Manny Ramirez, Often Called “The Next Charlie Hustle,” Retires

M. Ramirez Drug Test

Ramirez batting 1.000 on his drug test.

Tampa, FL—Manny Ramirez, the two-time World Series Champion and current designated hitter for the Tampa Bay Rays has announced his retirement, and immediately followed up that announcement by saying his retirement has “nothing whatsoever to do with any possible failed drug test taken at the end of spring training, so let’s just get that notion out of your mind right now. Come on.”

Ramirez said that there are plenty of baseball greats who were in Major League Baseball’s Drug Policy Program and retired the opening week of the season right after spring training camp broke and having just taken a drug test. He said there’s nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever about his retirement, and that he just wants to do other things. In other countries. With different laws.

“I want to travel,” Ramirez said. “I’ll probably spend some time in Amsterdam, maybe Thailand. I’m thinking of getting some property down in Columbia. But to say that I’m retiring from baseball during the first week of the season after a drug test because I may have failed the drug test? Dude.That’s just nonsense.” Continue reading