Elementary School Teacher Sues School After Being Fired For Telling Class She Saw Tupac Shakur Alive And Rapping Under An Assumed Name

Salt Shakur

A purported Salt Shakur promotional poster provided by Ms. Thomas.

Tulsa, OK—MaryJean Thomas, a fifth-grade teacher at Shannon Miller Elementary School, was fired in September, and is now suing to get her job back. The school told her she was let go for poor performance, but she says she was let go because she said she saw dead rapper Tupac Shakur in concert over the summer, and the school thinks she’s “a whack job.”

“I excitedly told the children that Tupac was alive,” said Thomas. “I saw him at a concert in Norman, and was fortunate enough to meet him backstage and get the real story about why he faked his death.”

Thomas went on to explain that Shakur faked his own death in Las Vegas in 1996 over security concerns about enemies his parents made as Black Panthers, but was confident he had enough money to survive quietly for the rest of his live in obscurity. “But he invested his money with Bernie Madoff,” said Thomas. “So he gets ripped off, loses everything and has to start rapping again. But he knows he can’t use his real name, so Tupac Shakur changed his first name to Salt, and raps at small venues in the mid-west.” Continue reading

Southwest Airlines: “Sure We Care About The Safety Of Our Passengers. Sure. Honest. No, Really.”

SWA

Engineers believe they may have identified the problem.

After Southwest Flight 182 from Phoenix to Sacramento lost cabin pressure at 34,000 feet last week and had to make an emergency landing, the airline has released a statement saying how concerned they were/are with the safety of the passengers that fly on their outdated, antiquated planes.

“Look, nobody was hurt, right?” the statement said, in part. “And isn’t that really all anybody cares about?” In fact, a flight attendant on board the plane was injured, but none of the 118 passengers aboard were hurt. Continue reading