Tag Archives: Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Tweets, Texts And Posts On Facebook That She Plans To Be More Private In 2012

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Kim Kardashian

Is Kim Kardashian turning her back on the limelight? We sure hope so!

Los Angeles—Kim Kardashian called a press conference yesterday to formally announce her New Year’s Resolution for 2012: To lead a more private life. She also posted this resolution on her Twitter account, Facebook page and nearly-defunct Myspace account.

She said this newfound privacy will be showcased on her E! television program, and she hopes to prove to the American public just how private she’s being in weekly press conferences throuought the upcoming year.

“I really, really learned a hard lesson last year during my marriage to Reg- I mean, my husband,” Kardashian said. “And it is my sincere hope that you all will join me in my journey as I strive to be a more private person.”
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TDQ Investigates: The Curious Case Of Kim Kardashian’s Marriage

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Kim and Kris

These two kids, who seemed they had so much in common, have just bought two tickets to Splitsville (but they will be traveling in separate rows).

This was the column we hoped we’d never have to write.

We never wanted to be here, in this moment asking “Why?” But ever since we heard the news and completely stopped what we were doing in sheer, utter disbelief and shock, we’ve had to ask ourselves “Why?” Is there something, anything we could have done to prevent the marriage of Kim Kardashian and her husband from falling apart a mere 72 blissful days after they said “I do?”

How could this have happened? What did we do wrong? How could we have tried harder to make this work? But in the end, all we can come up with is something that really leaves us with little comfort: sometimes these things happen.
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Bank Of America To Start Charging Fees For Reading Articles About All The New Fees They’ve Started Charging

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Bank of America Fees

For now the Bank of America fees for negative publicity will be collected via a widget similar to the familiar Facebook "Like" button. This will put readers on the honor system until a more intrusive system can be devised.

New York—In an effort to both recoup fees they expect to lose due to new federal regulations, and to lessen the chances people will read the bad press accompanying the new fees, Bank of America announced on their website yesterday that they will begin charging people who read articles about new charges in newspapers and online.

The message on the site read in part, “in the new economic reality that every bank is now facing, there are some fees that have become unavoidable, and with virtually every single article that mentions Bank of America being of a negative nature, it makes business sense that fees are charged to read these articles.”
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NASA Working To Predict Crash And Burn Of Kim Kardashian’s Marriage

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Kardashian Control Center

A glimpse inside NASA's Kardashian Control Center. The E! television network contracted NASA to conduct the study so they can plan their programming accordingly. NASA will, literally, take anything it can get.

Cape Canaveral, FL—NASA scientists said yesterday they are doing their best to tell us when the marriage between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will fail later this year. It’s just that if they’re a little bit off, it could mean the difference between paparazzi having to fly from Florida or from New York. Or, say, Los Angeles or Las Vegas.

Pinpointing where and when the total collapse of this doomed marriage will ultimately happen is an imprecise science at best. For now, scientists predict the earliest it will fail is Thursday, October 7th, the latest Saturday, December 31st.

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