New Book Rips Poor, Innocent, Likeable Matt Lauer

Matt Lauer

Matt Lauer: Soley responsible for everything bad in the world? Some say yes.

New York—A new tell-all e-book is coming out next week aimed at exposing all the wrongs “Today Show” host and current most-hated man on the planet Matt Lauer is responsible for. It’s entitled, “Matt Lauer Thinks You’re A Big Fat Jerk, Worse, Even, Than Ann Curry,” and it’s being published by Bridge Publications.

Just a few of the evils mentioned in the book that he is 100% responsible for include:

Matt Lauer was behind the Manti Te’o hoax. Matt Lauer reduced the amount of cookies in each box of Girl Scout cookies. Matt Lauer formed the band “Nickelback.”

It was Matt Lauer who decided that Netflix should charge more money for fewer movies. Matt Lauer owns Groupon. And Myspace.

Matt Lauer hacked your Twitter account and sent all those weight loss pill tweets. Matt Lauer introduced John Gosselin to Kate. And then be broke them up.

Matt Lauer cancelled “Arrested Development,” “Firefly” and “Veronica Mars.” Matt Lauer sent E.T. home. Matt Lauer started all the negative press about Lolo Jones. Matt Lauer shot J.R. Both times.
Continue reading

North Korea Suing Psy Saying He Stole “Gangnam Style” Lyrics From Kim Jong-Il

Kim Jeong Style

We have been urged to note that we are running this story by our own free will. We have not been pressured or blackmailed by any international governments to run this story.

Pyongyang, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea—A spokesman for Kim Jong-un confirmed yesterday that the North Korean Leader has filed a civil lawsuit against South Korean recording artist Psy for allegedly stealing the lyrics and the horse dance made popular in the video for Psy’s worldwide smash hit, “Gangnam Style.” The suit said that Kim Jong-Il wrote the lyrics to the song and made up the popular horse dance just days before he passed away on Sept. 17th of last year.

“Before his honorable and heroic death last year,” the suit said, “the Supreme Leader wrote the words to ‘Gangnam Style’ in under five minutes as a joke to his family, and also created the horse dance that the defendant so blatantly stole, also to show to his family. There was video of the Supreme Leader singing and dancing at dinner just before he passed away, and it is believed the defendant stole that video as well.”
Continue reading

North Korea To Keep Nuclear Warhead That Student Found And Turned In To Police

MIRV

Kim Choi (right) and a friend (left) pictured with the warhead (center).

Pyongyang, North Korea—The government of North Korea has announced via its state-run news agency that it has decided to keep a nuclear warhead found by a teenager in a parking lot last February, rather than return it to the young man who found it.

The warhead will go into the country’s general arsenal, not back to Kim Il-sung University student Kim Choi, who found the warhead in a cardboard box at the Kim Jong-il Pavillion Shopping Center in North Pyongyang.
Continue reading