TDQ Investigates: How Can Carrie Underwood’s Songs Hate Men So Much When She’s Married To A Hockey Player?

Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood protesters argue their case to police at a recent event. Rumor has it that after hearing some Underwood lyrics the allegedly philandering officer joined the protest.

In this, our second editorial exposing the lousy lyrics of today’s music, we examine Carrie Underwood’s not-so-subtle man bashing in some of her songs.

Now, by and large, we love Carrie Underwood. She is far and away our favorite Grammy-winning vegan American Idol winner from Oklahoma. But we fear it’s obvious that she wouldn’t like us, what with us being men and all.

Because it’s clear in her lyrics that she has progressively gotten more violent in her feelings on men who done her wrong. She’s gone from taking baseball bats to headlights and slashing tires to deciding not to wake up her abusive father so a tornado can flatten their home with her old man passed out drunk on the couch, to finally conspiring with the other woman to kill a cheating husband.

Not since the Dixie Chicks, those anti-America, anti-patriot Texans brought us the song “Goodbye Earl” a decade ago has offing a husband been so catchy.

But with the lyrics

“Two months ago his wife called the number on his phone
Turns out he’d been lying to both of them for oh so long
They decided then he’d never get away with doing this to them
Two black Cadillacs waiting for the right time, right time”

…Underwood has shown what her songs are capable of. Continue reading

New Clive Davis Autobiography Reveals His Roles In “New Coke” And His Invention Of The iPad

Clive Davis

A rare glimpse inside Clive Davis Laboratories where the magic happens.

Los Angeles—Former “American Idol” winner and star of stage and screen Kelly Clarkson isn’t the only celebrity named and skewered in record mogul Clive Davis’ new autobiography, “The Soundtrack of My Life.” Davis also said that he tried his best to prevent “massive career mistakes” that other protégé’s made, and at the same time resisted taking credit for some tremendous inventions and ideas that have helped change the world, namely, the iPad.

Early in the book, Davis said that he “wasted, ultimately, more than a month of my precious time” trying to convince Coca-Cola executives not to change the classic formula back in 1985. The advice that Davis tried to give the execs, including one former record company employee who was instrumental in the soft drink maker’s decision to “update the taste or some such nonsense,” fell on deaf ears. But David was quickly proven correct in his assessment, and was sent “a lifetime supply of the caramel-colored drink, though in all honesty,” Davis said he prefers “Tab.” Continue reading