Degenerate Gamblers, Country’s Remaining 11 Horse Racing Fans Excited That People Find The Ponies Relevant Again For A Few Weeks

I'll Have Another

Owner Doug O'Neill is in constant fear of I'll Have Another letting success get the better of him and reverting to old habits: namely excessive drinking.

Baltimore, MD—With the latest tease in the “sport” of horse racing, I’ll Have Another, making people think that it’s possible there will be another Triple Crown winner again, the eleven people in the United States who still care about horse racing and the thousands of gamblers who insist they don’t have a problem are welcoming the spotlight and the public’s short-lived excitement for horse racing.

“We love it, we really do,” said long-time gambler Vinnie DiCorsio, who is certain that I’ll Have Another will end the decades-long drought since Affirmed won the last Triple Crown in 1978. “Oh yeah, as soon as I’ll Have Another wins next month in New York, I can get my wedding ring out of hock and my wife’ll probably let me move back in.”
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