I especially thought this would be a better column when I heard “The Christmas Shoes” the following night. And that is exhibit A of what not to play at Christmas.Rule #1: Let’s steer clear of dying mothers in Christmas songs. Mmmkay?
And speaking of dying, let’s also steer clear of dying cats, even if they do become constellations after heroically saving a mouse from freezing to death. I’m looking at you, “The Cat Carol.” I think we can all agree that Christmas is depressing enough without these songs.And I’m sorry George Michael and Taylor Swift, but simply because you record a break-up song that happens to take place at Christmas, that doesn’t make it a Christmas song. Title notwithstanding, “Last Christmas” ain’t in the same league as “Winter Wonderland” or “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.”
While we’re at it, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” isn’t technically a Christmas song, per se. It’s a classic song performed in a Christmas story. It’s a fine line, I know, but with all the options in Christmas songs, we have to cut where we have to cut. This also applies to “My Favorite Things.” No mention of Christmas anywhere in the thing.Some readers may accuse us here of being Scrooges, but if you will trim just these few songs from your holiday music rotation, we promise you’ll enjoy your winter-solstice-themed-late-year celebrations all the more.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have Anne Murray’s “Winter Wonderland” waiting for me on a continuous loop.
You are now seasonally informed. Go and do likewise.