Peter Dinklage To Play E.T. In Reboot Planned For 2020

Peter Dinklage as ET

We have been told that, despite what we see in this pre-production spy shot, the final costume will use practical effects almost entirely. All other scenery and set work will be computer generated. A spokesperson from Mr. Dinklage’s team says the studio has assured them the final costume will be tasteful.

Los Angeles— Fans of the HBO mega-hit “Game of Thrones” finally now know what the show’s creators as well as its biggest star will be doing once the show finishes its 8th and final season in 2019.  

D.B. Weiss and partner David Benioff announced yesterday that they’ve been given the green light to reboot Steven Spielberg’s alien epic, “E.T.” And they will working with an actor for the role that they’ve become very familiar and friendly with the past few years: Peter Dinklage.

“We-I’d guess we probably talked about using CGI for ‘E.T.’ for maybe 10 seconds,” Weiss said. “But then we figured we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use Pete if we could get him. And we did. He said he’s all in. And we all know he’ll be great.”

The duo were also thrilled to get the blessing of Spielberg himself. “Ste-Mr. Spielberg, excuse me, called us up while we were filming in Malta last week and said he’s excited to see the new twist we would bring to the story,” Benioff said. 

A reboot has been in the Hollywood rumor mill for years, with every well-known director from J.J. Abrams to Bryan Singer to Jon Favreau attached at different times. But Weiss and Benioff said their great chemistry and the timing of them finally finishing up “Game of Thrones” just worked out wonderfully. “The stars just aligned, as it were,” Benioff said.

Other roles in the reboot that have been cast besides Dinklage include Giselle Eisenberg as young Gert, the loudmouthed little sister played by Drew Barrymore in the original; Nancy Travis as the mom originally played by Dee Wallace Stone; Jacob McCarthy as Michael, the older brother played by Robert MacNaughton originally; and Gaten Matarazzo as Elliot, the boy who finds and befriends “E.T.” 

Weiss confirmed that filming would begin on “E.T.” in Majorca shortly after they finished editing the final season of “Game of Thrones,” and he was excited to show how “E.T.” would interact with modern-day society “with all its dragons, magic, corruption and frozen walking zombies, then use an iPad to phone home. It’ll be great.”

Jack Gleeson, Natalie Dormer To Star In “Princess Bride” Remake

The Princess Bride

With any luck an entire generation won’t even know or care it was a remake. Like the following films: Godzilla (1998), Planet of the Apes (2001), The Manchurian Candidate (2004), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), Clash of the Titans (2010), The Karate Kid (2010), Arthur (2011), Godzilla (2014)

Hollywood—Fans of the incredible chemistry between “Game of Thrones” favorites King Joffrey and his bride Margery can finally rejoice, as Sony confirmed yesterday that they will once again star together in the remake of “The Princess Bride.”

Jack Gleeson and Natalie Dormer were confirmed as cast as Westley and Princess Buttercup yesterday in the remake, set to be directed by Fred Savage. It will be Savage’s first time behind the camera on a major motion picture. But at least he is familiar with the material, having played “The Grandson” in the original.

Denzel Washington has been cast as Inigo Montoya, the swash-buckling swordsman searching the world over for the six-fingered man who murdered his father. Former NBA star Yao Ming has been cast as Fezzik, the friendly, rhyming giant.

“The irresistible spark seen onscreen between Jack and Natalie in the HBO show, ‘Game of Thrones’ will no doubt be visible and likely even flourish more under the astute direction of Fred Savage” a press release issued by Sony said.

Thomas Middleditch has signed on to play Miracle Max, and Kaley Cuoco has been cast as his long-suffering wife, Valerie. Stephen Root has been cast to play the brilliant kidnapper Vizzini. Nick Offerman will play the role of Prince Humperdinck.

Filming is set to begin next month, with a tentative release date of Christmas 2017. “With little to no movie competition set for December 2017, we have no doubt this movie will perform just great the box office,” Sony said.

Savage said that the studio has been “harassing me, like, literally, harassing me” about directing a remake for years. He said he hoped his TV show, “The Grinder” would serve as the perfect excuse to beg out of involvement in the movie. “But the damn critics saw to it that I now have a hell of a lot of extra time on my hands, and a family to take care of. Inconceivable.”

 

Blimey! Study Finds That Less Than One In One Hundred Americans Understand What Exactly Makes Up The United Kingdom

United Kingdom Quiz

Responses to the United Kingdom Quiz were varied, to say the least. One respondent just wrote “YOLO!” on the form in yellow highlighter.

St. Louis, MO—A new study published last week in a well-regarded geographical academic journal has found that a mere .7% of adults in the United States can successfully explain the makeup of The United Kingdom, and understand that, as Wikipedia states, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, commonly known as the United Kingdom (UK) or Britain, is a sovereign state located off the north-western coast of continental Europe. The country includes the island of Great Britain, the north-eastern part of the island of Ireland, and many smaller islands.

Washington University’s Dr. Milton Stuckey and his team conducted the study, and while Dr. Stuckey said he “didn’t have astronomical hopes for the study” when he began, he was still “a little taken aback by the results, to be quite honest.”

Dr. Stuckey’s study found “one response that stated the person thought England was a city in London, which, while mildly amusing, is actually more sad than anything else.”
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