The Daily Quarterly Turns Five, Kids!

Four score minus 75 years ago, we brought forth on this internet a news website, conceived in brilliance, and dedicated to the proposition that not all sources of where you get your news are created equal.

And it’s been a tremendous five years. With great interviews of great actors, rappers, award-winning writers, comedians, jewelers, fudge makers, liquor distributors, journalists and musicians. And insightful commentary and hard-hitting investigative news pieces that both local and national news organizations only dream of presenting.

We’ve taken down lying (or, “misremembering”) national nightly news anchors, uncovered corruption in both small town city halls and international city halls. We’ve brought you poignant obituaries of international luminaries, including sports figures, poets, film industry pioneers and people who successfully “EGOT”ed. We’ve exposed Illuminati plots, and we’re confident that we’re ever closer to taking down this fiendish, mysterious organization.

Through it all we’ve pushed the envelope with cutting-edge photographs, embracing state-of-the-art National Geographic-worthy illustrations and animation. And we’ve done it all for you, the reader. We knew what your lives lacked when we started this little enterprise five years ago with just $1.85 in our pockets, a train ticket to the big city, a couple of PCs and a big dream. And that dream continues to grow and to evolve.

We’ve met some great people along the way, who tell us everyday how much we’ve impacted their lives and how they view not only the internet, but the world itself. When we started this little site, we said, “If we can impact just one person, it will have all been worth it.” And we still feel that way, though we know we’ve changed and improved literally thousands of lives. But it’s nothing less than what you all deserve. Truly.

If the next five years can be nearly as awesome as these last five, we have no doubt the world and you and your family, no matter how small and insignificant, will be the better for it. All because of us.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

Justin Bieber To Take On Role Of Marvin Hamlisch In Bio Pic

The Way He Was

The Way He Was, starring Justin Bieber as Marvin Hamslisch.

Los Angeles—In what will be the closest he ever comes to attaining an EGOT, producers confirmed yesterday that Justin Bieber has been tapped to play mega-talented composer Marvin Hamlisch in a new bio pic scheduled to begin production next month in Bieber’s native Canada.

The film, titled, “The Way He Was,” will co-star Bieber’s on-again-off-again gal pal Selena Gomez as Barbara Streisand, for whom Hamlisch got his first gig on Broadway as a rehearsal pianist. Denzel Washington has signed on to play Quincy Jones, who first got Hamlisch into films in the late 1960s.

Chris Pine has been confirmed to be in talks to make a cameo appearance as Robert Redford. Simon Helberg has been cast as Woody Allen, and Maia Mitchell will play Carole Bayer Sager, Hamlisch’s prolific writing partner during much of his success. Their collaboration was the basis for Neil Simon’s successful stage musical, “They’re Playing Our Song” in 1978.

The film will mark the first time a Hollywood studio has taken the huge, monumental, foolish risk of putting Bieber in a starring role. But his reps said he’s “more than ready for the task.”

“As soon as we sat Justin down and explained to him exactly who Mr. Hamlisch was and what all he accomplished during his too short life, he was stoked, like crazy stoked,” said Bieber’s manager. “And, really, who hasn’t heard Selena on the radio and instantly thought, ‘Babs,’ am I right? Am I right?”
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