Dennis Kucinich Announces He “Didn’t Want To Live In Ohio Anymore, Anyway,” Moving To Miami

Kucinich

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Someone was taking full advantage of the US House of Representatives gym!

Having recovered from the initial shock of losing his long-held position in the U.S. House of Representatives, Dennis Kucinich today announced he is leaving his wife, buying a convertible, and moving to South Beach.  “At first I was morally offended by the Republican gerrymandering that led to my being voted out of office, but then I was like, wait a minute, I’m rich and famous, and naive young college girls love me!  I’m outta here!!”  Mrs. Kucinich could not be reached for comment.

Dennis Kucinich’s political career kicked off in 1967 in the state known for being round on both sides and high in the middle. While Kucinich failed to achieve victory in his 1967 bid for Cleveland City Council, success would be his the following term (1969) at the young age of 23. Kucinich would not be detered by a couple of failed attempts for the US House of Representatives. He pressed on and in 1975, was elected as Ohio’s Clerk of the court.
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Poll: American Flag Pins Prove Citizenship

American Flag Pins

With American flag pins effectively implying citizenship they have become a hot commodity on the black market.

Washington, DC—In a recent non-scientific poll, 86% of Americans who responded said they believe that anyone wearing one of those little American flag pins is “in all likelihood” a natural born citizen of the U.S.

When also asked about the citizenship of President Obama, 95% of that 86% believe the President was not born in the U.S., with 79% responding he was most likely born in the “nation of Africa.”

“I’ve never seen Osama [Obama] wearin’ an American flag pin,” stated John Bithlo, 54, of Columbus, Texas. “And nobody I know has ever seen him wearing one. Tell me, why do you think that is?? I’ll tell you why, it ‘cuz he tweren’t born here!!”
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