Karlsfield City Official Apologies As Ordered To By Judge

Liechtenstein Gazette Online

In the mid 1990’s, at the height of popularity of “America Online” Liechtenstein took things a little too literally and digitized their entire government including their law gazette in a project called “Liechtenstein Online” or LOL for short.

Karlsfield, VT—Karlsfield City Manger Kevin Miles is certainly a stickler for details. After recently being ordered by County Court Judge Wilber Wainwright to apologize in writing for calling the judge “a backwater Ivy-League wannabe” at a City Council meeting.

“There is no place in this court, or any other court for that matter, for wanton disrespect for judicial robes,” Wainwright wrote in his ruling.

Miles was forthrightly ordered to apologize in writing “in a local instrument.”

And that’s just what Miles did, according to his legal representative, resident legal expert and local Dairy Queen owner Dwayne Holcomb.

“Mr. Miles did exactly and precisely, to the letter of the law, what the judge so blatantly sentenced him to do,” Holcomb said. “It is indeed written in a local instrument, The Lichtenstein Gazette.”

Holcomb said he read and re-read the judgment nearly twice to ensure his client was in compliance. “The fact that it is not locally in the state of Vermont, that was not a requirement. Just read the ultimatum. Nowhere is the city or state named as part of this wholly unjust verdict.”

Holcomb continued, defiantly, “Look, if ESPN, the Worldwide Leader in Sports, can make an apology for something at two in the morning for something that happened during the last 10 years, what’s the big deal here? All the judge has to do is subscribe to The Gazette using the Lichtenstein currency exchange, and he’s golden. This isn’t ‘Deflategate, for Heaven’s sake.”