Carrie Underwood’s Back Killing Men In Her Songs. Again.

Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood: Singer. Songwriter. Murderess?

Two years ago we expressed our fear of multi-award winning recording artist and former “American Idol” winner Carrie Underwood and her anti-bad-man music. And now the wife of that hockey player guy is at it again with her latest single, “Church Bells.”

This latest ditty again tells the tale of a wronged, beaten woman, who takes the law into her own hands, as Carrie Underwood so often does, as she clearly feels this is a proper solution. After the backstory in the song tells about how the woman obviously married “Game of Thrones'” King Joffrey, Underwood practically teaches a class in murder, Shonda Rhimes-style.

Jenny slipped something in his Tennessee whiskey
No law man was ever gonna find
And how he died is still a mystery

Good Lord. How many man-bashing killing songs does one artist have to release before she finds herself at the top of the list for every murder of a man in Nashville? Like, six? Will six songs be enough? Seven? How about seven?

It’s understandable that she’s angry about her husband’s team getting knocked out of the playoffs, but there has to be a more constructive way of venting her anger. Maybe knitting, or Crossfit. We’ve heard good things about those adult coloring books. Very soothing.

Bottom line is that she clearly has anger issues, and it’s probably a good thing her husband is a big, strong Canadian(?) guy. But there aren’t many strapping men like him in Music City. He may be able to fend off her murderous rage, but how many other guys there can?

All we can say is, watch your back, dudes of Nashville.

Watch your back.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

Carrie Underwood, Church Bells

Pick up Carrie Underwood’s new single Church Bells for some rockin’ tunes and a bonus recipe for murder.

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