TDQ Investigates: The Ridiculousness Of The Lonestar Song, “I’m Already There”

I'm the sunshine in your hair.

I’m the sunshine in your hair.

In this latest installment of helping you see how horrible a hit song is, we examine Lonestar’s 2001 tug-at-your-heartstrings-because-we’re-lonesome diddy, “I’m Already There.” The tune is gaining attention again recently for being used in a commercial. (We have issues with as well, but that’s for another time).

I’m the shadow on the ground.

I’m the shadow on the ground.

Trying lamely to tell the tale of a lonely husband and father calling home to speak to his family from some far off locale, the man breaks into some horrible metaphor for his spirit inhabiting, (more like, haunting), his wife and children. Let’s take a look a lyrics or two, shall we:

I'm the whisper in the wind.

I’m the whisper in the wind.

“I’m already there
Take a look around
I’m the sunshine in your hair
I’m the shadow on the ground
I’m the whisper in the wind
I’m your imaginary friend”

I'm the beat in your heart.

I’m the beat in your heart.

You’re both the sunshine and the shadow? Really? And you’re a whisper in the wind while at the same time talking on the phone? Sounds a bit creepy to us.

I'm the moonlight shining down.

I’m the moonlight shining down.

We here at TDQ travel constantly. Constantly. Be it flying somewhere to interview somebody, or a boondoggle at a Hawaiian hotel for a “conference,” or heading down to the Cayman Islands to find a place for our “Harnessing the Power of Spite To Achieve Your Goals” royalties, we’re gone quite a lot. And we can say with 100% honesty that when we call home, we have never said to anyone in our respective households that, despite being three timezones away, we are “already there.” And you know why we don’t? Because we’re not. Not to get into a whole space-time-continuum thing about relative places in space, but the fact is, we’re not already there. Sorry. And why does this lonely man want to freak out his wife and children anyway?

Another sample:

“I’m the beat in your heart
I’m the moonlight shining down”

So now he’s possessed the physical bodies of his family? And he’s some incorporeal being capable of giving off light? No. No, no, no.

Maybe just stick to covering other, good songs, Lonestar. Like, “Walking in Memphis.” Or better yet, keep standing on your front porch looking in. It’s probably better for everyone.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

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