Ford’s press agent released a statement quoting the 72 year-old thespian and star of “The Mosquito Coast,” who explained the intricacies of air flight, saying, “Traveling through hyperspace ain’t like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova, and that’d end your trip real quick, wouldn’t it?”
It is unclear at this point what exactly caused the crash, with the NTSB still investigating. But sources close to the investigation, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, are also blaming the plane’s controls, which would back up the “Sabrina” star’s conversation with airport employees near the crash site.
Recordings of radio transmissions made between Ford and air traffic controllers showed Ford insisting everything had returned to normal working order, with the actor saying, “We had a slight malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?”
A hospital spokesperson confirmed Ford’s condition yesterday, saying “Yes, he’s alive, and in perfect hibernation.”
When asked to describe the aircraft being flown by Ford at the time of his crash, his publicist again quoted Ford, who said of the Clone War II vintage craft, “She’ll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve made a lot of special modifications myself.”
Ford’s publicist ended his press release by quoting the “What Lies Beneath” actor, who remained in stable condition at last reports, as re-iterating, “I shot first! Remember, I shot first!”