Michelle Pfeiffer Denies Paying Musicians To Be Mentioned In Current Hit Songs

Los Angeles—A spokesman for actress Michelle Pfeiffer said at a press conference yesterday that the actress is “shocked, saddened and appalled” that the media would assume that she has paid musical artists to include her name in recent radio hits “just to ensure her name is out there and her Q rating continues to be at a level commensurate with her fame.”

Recent hits “Riptide” by Vance Joy, and “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars have been getting significant airplay, and both ditties mention the Oscar-nominated actress, making some cynics in the music and media industries to wonder if she was trying to get a large name-recognition payday, similar to the one Mick Jagger got when he, allegedly, paid for a campaign that began in mid 2009 with a nod in Ke$ha’s debut single Tik Tok and finished strong when Maroon 5 scored a huge hit with “Moves Like Jagger” in 2011. The result was a surge in Rolling Stones music sales to an entire generation of tweens and teens that were previously uninterested.

1979 - Failed Auto Mechanic Career

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One of Michelle Pfeiffer's early jobs was as an auto mechanic. Her undoing was a complete lack of respect for bolt torque specifications. She claimed to have a sixth sense for how tight a bolt should be. We can only imagine where she'd be if she had respected best practices. Possibly a NASCAR engine builder.

“Ms. Pfeiffer’s career is doing just fine, thank you very much,” her rep said. “How many people who are accusing her of giving money or Super Bowl tickets or free DVDs of ‘The Fabulous Baker Boys’ to musicians just to get mentioned in songs, how many of them go home every night to a Golden Globe award for best actress or a BAFTA award? That’s what I’d like to know. Maybe these folks should look themselves in the mirror before they go around saying Ms. Pfeiffer has any reason to send Vance Joy a shoebox full of autographed head shots. It’s ludicrous.”

Pfeiffer’s last theatrical release was “The Family” with Tommy Lee Jones and Robert De Niro, back in 2013. Wikipedia doesn’t show any upcoming projects from the former Catwoman.

No one involved with Vancy Joy, Mark Ronson or Bruno Mars would return e-mail or phone messages left asking about their “inspiration” in dropping Pfeiffer’s names in their tunes.

Pfeiffer’s rep concluded the press conference by saying he couldn’t wait to get home so he could watch “What Lies Beneath” followed up by “Dark Shadows,” which, would be, in his words, “a perfect end to any day.”

6 thoughts on “Michelle Pfeiffer Denies Paying Musicians To Be Mentioned In Current Hit Songs

  1. “rating continues to be at a level commiserate”
    why would anyone look at this blog with such a horrid error as commiserate instead of commensurate! “you are now mis-informed” should be the tag line.

    • Thank you for your comment and your constrictive criticism. With add revenue down, we’ve had to release sum of our copy editors. Our sincerest apologies. You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

  2. Wow. Michelle Pfeiffer must have pissed you off somewhere along the line. The article is fairly innocuous, but the captions that go with the photos are just plain juvenile, sarcastic and smack of adolescent rejection. Maybe this is why artists sing about Michelle Pfeiffer and not about Brian Dimaio?

    Have a little more grace.

    • Thank you for your comment. To the contrary, good sir. A number of songs have been written about Brian DiMaio. Just ask Carly Simon and Alanis Morissette. Not to mention “Magic Man” by Heart.

      You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

  3. You sir are an imbecile. Your picture diescription is beyond childish, I sense nothing more than jelousy and in all honesty it’s quite sad that person at your age you would try to bash someone. Like really bro??? You mad???? Pathetic excuse for a blogge, garbage..two words, SCARFACE BITCH !!!! Why not mention her in songs ? She’s gorgeous an as mentioned above she was in one of the greatest films ….. You sir deserve a throat punch.

  4. I think the reason they used Michelle’s name is because she is past making any mistakes, and never really made any to start with. If you mentioned a young famous star in your song, chances are she is going to do something unsavoury in your career. And the song is not going to age properly. If you mention Paris Hilton in a song seven years ago, the song would be laughable now. With an older actress, who was and is known for her physical beauty, timeless in that sense, it creates a timelessness to the song. The genre of the songs, funk and folk rock respectively, get us back to the time, that these songs feel like they were written.

    That said, not sure why Michelle was chosen. For Riptide, I would have chosen a woman who was more hippie like Ali McGra and for Uptown Funk, I would have definitely chosen sexy, hot Pam Greer. Why a squeaky clean, generic all-American bony blond would be the choice for such a rich, lush, funky song is beyond me, no respect. I listen to the songs, and just get hung up on that choice… The rest of the song hangs off that question. It’s a distracting name to use.

    That said, Michelle is a classy woman, I don’t think she would pay to have her name in a song.

    This is the opinion of a white female.

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