“Every —damn time we’re in the —damn car, all she wants to listen to is that —damn ‘Frozen’ soundtrack,” said Regina Stiller, 19. “And she must have watched the stupid movie like, literally a bajillion times at her Memaw’s house, or her daddy’s house, or her daddy’s Memaw’s place. Thank God my Blu-Ray is broke, so we don’t have to watch it when she stays with me.”
Stiller’s attorney, Bruce Fillion, said his client has a tremendous case against Disney, as “their calculated, diabolical marketing strategy, as well as the inherent ‘entertainment value’ associated with the film, has made it impossible, impossible, for my client to have a moment’s peace while she drives her small child back and forth to daycare and her family’s house. My client can’t tell her no, what sort of parent would she be if she did that? Her only recourse is to pursue Disney to recover the damages she is clearly due.”
Stiller said Disney’s actions have forced her to purchase all new bed sheets, posters and toys featuring the characters from “Frozen,” putting her in a terribly precarious position, what with her modest income as a beauty school student.
Fillion said he fully expects this suit to become a class action. “I personally have not yet had the, um, pleasure of having children, but from what the paralegals in my office have said, and they all have children themselves for some reason, apparently this thing is running rampant, and is totally driving parents up the wall all across the country. Disney better watch out.”