TDQ Investigates: How Can Carrie Underwood’s Songs Hate Men So Much When She’s Married To A Hockey Player?

Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood protesters argue their case to police at a recent event. Rumor has it that after hearing some Underwood lyrics the allegedly philandering officer joined the protest.

In this, our second editorial exposing the lousy lyrics of today’s music, we examine Carrie Underwood’s not-so-subtle man bashing in some of her songs.

Now, by and large, we love Carrie Underwood. She is far and away our favorite Grammy-winning vegan American Idol winner from Oklahoma. But we fear it’s obvious that she wouldn’t like us, what with us being men and all.

Because it’s clear in her lyrics that she has progressively gotten more violent in her feelings on men who done her wrong. She’s gone from taking baseball bats to headlights and slashing tires to deciding not to wake up her abusive father so a tornado can flatten their home with her old man passed out drunk on the couch, to finally conspiring with the other woman to kill a cheating husband.

Not since the Dixie Chicks, those anti-America, anti-patriot Texans brought us the song “Goodbye Earl” a decade ago has offing a husband been so catchy.

But with the lyrics

“Two months ago his wife called the number on his phone
Turns out he’d been lying to both of them for oh so long
They decided then he’d never get away with doing this to them
Two black Cadillacs waiting for the right time, right time”

…Underwood has shown what her songs are capable of.

This sort of songwriting is far more dangerous than just dancing like Mick Jagger. Clearly Carrie has been hurt in her past. We blame Ryan Seacrest.

Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood allegedly spreading her message of cheater murder to young girls.

Just imagine if a man had sung these songs. He’d be vilified all across the country, and rightly so. But simply because she’s hot, really hot, Carrie gets away with writing about the horrible things she would do/has done/let’s a twister do to men in her lives.

Why don’t we go back to the nicer, happier songs, Carrie, about wiping out on the interstate on black ice one cold Christmas Eve, and your fatherless child sleeping in the backseat? Why don’t we try that? Or maybe something similar to what Kelly Clarkson sings about, walking on the safe side of the sidewalk? That way you and the horrible men in your life don’t get hurt.
You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

2 thoughts on “TDQ Investigates: How Can Carrie Underwood’s Songs Hate Men So Much When She’s Married To A Hockey Player?

  1. Pingback: Carrie Underwood’s Back Killing Men In Her Songs. Again. | The Daily Quarterly

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