J.K. Rowling Sues Over Article That Called Her “Litigious”

J.K. Rowling

J.K. Rowling’s latest work, ghost written by her lawyer, may not sell as many copies as the Harry Potter series but it might bring in as much money.

London—Level-headed billionaire “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling was reportedly so upset over an article that appeared in the Times of London last fall calling her “litigious” that she has filed a lawsuit to prove what an outlandish lie that article was.

“It’s patently ridiculous, hurtful and infuriating that any article would insinuate or out-and-out state that I am litigious,” Rowling said through a spokesman. “It’s ludicrous. It’s slander is what it is, and I won’t stand for it.”

Suit was filed in London court yesterday seeking an undisclosed sum from the paper as well as the writer of the article and the newspaper deliveryman who delivered the paper to Rowling’s doorstep. It is unclear if the deliveryman has legal counsel at this point.

The article, published Nov. 31st of last year, mentioned in passing that Rowling had been involved in a number of copyright lawsuits as well as injunctions revolving around the “Harry Potter” books. The single mention of the word “litigious” midway through the article has apparently drawn the ire of Rowling and her supporters.

“Like many articles one can find in the Times of London, this one was a disorganized litany of largely incoherent wrongs. They knew what they were doing when they wrote that tripe, that rubbish,” the Rowling spokesman said. “Bunch of bloody wankers, all of them. And the gall of that tosser, throwing that fish wrap on Joe (Rowling)’s doorstep. Of all the cheeky nerve.”

The spokesman went on to say that Rowling’s camp hopes to have the matter settled in court by the end of the summer, but with Rowling’s already hectic court schedule, it was possible this particular suit would have to wait until November or December of this year. “Unless of course, those bastards want to write a check right now and apologize to Joe with a full-page, front-page mea culpa,” the spokesman said.

Requests for comments from the Times of London were unsuccessful. Rowling’s (former) newspaper deliveryman had no comment on the matter.

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