After Today, The Daily Quarterly’s Terrible Twos Begin- Consider Yourselves Warned

2 Years of The Daily Quarterly.

The cake maker refused to put a tobacco pipe on a two year old’s birthday cake. We tried to explain but we got into this whole big thing.

Put your party hats on, people! It’s the second anniversary of The Daily Quarterly! Woot woot!

We’ve broken a lot of news, fixed a lot of stories and even written a book in two short years, and it’s all for you, our beloved, loyal readers. We know you’re grateful, honest, but that doesn’t mean you need to stop sending us those checks.

Two years, though, is nothing when you consider our long-term goal of news and internet and internet news domination. Shoot, the “Monkees” TV show lasted just two years, and look what all they accomplished. We have no plans whatsoever of quitting this juggernaut like those daydream believers did after just two years.

Of course, it helps that neither of us have an ego like Peter Tork’s.

So what’s next for The Daily Quarterly, you ask? Well, cheer up sleepy Jean, we’ll continue to promote our first book, “Harnessing The Power of Spite to Achieve Your Goals,” as well as working on our second book, which we hope to have out sometime this summer.

And, naturally, we’ll continue to bring you all the news you deserve and require. No matter how many awesome books we put out, we have no immediate plans to stop what got us this far. Plus, we have some more athletes, both professional and amateur, along with an entertainer or two to “catfish.” That’s just too dang fun to stop doing. And, with the success of our little staged “blackout” during the “Super Bowl” last “week,” we’re working to come up with entertaining ways to thwart and disrupt major sporting events. (If anybody knows where we can get a few tons of locusts for the Masters golf tournament in April, shoot us an e-mail. Thanks!)

So you guys just take the last train to Clarksville and keep doing your part by reading this awesomeness every day, and we’ll keep throwing it together somehow. Hangover and all, court appearances or not, we’ll find a way.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

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