So why would we spend nearly four years perpetrating a hoax to trick some football player and make up all these fake Twitter and Facebook accounts and fake pictures and clandestine meetings in Hawaii and fake car accidents and death from leukemia? We were bored. And he seemed like a nice enough guy. And who do you think paid for the trips to Hawaii? The University of Notre Dame Athletic Dept. of course!
The tawdry details aren’t really all that important. Just suffice it to say that we were inspired by our good friends Stephen Glass and Clifford Irving in starting the whole thing. It took a lot of time, good excuses and Hollywood makeup to really keep the charade aloft. And, we take some pride, thank you very much, on Manti nearly winning the Heisman Trophy and his team playing for the National Championship thanks to the inspiration he and the entire team felt after our “death” in September.
Besides, we can’t give away all our secrets, since we have a couple other irons in the fire, as it were. Not to spoil anything, but keep an eye out for a story that should break soon about a certain “American Idol” judge. We don’t want to ruin it. Plus, we just wrapped up the whole “NHL Lockout” hoax. That was a good one.
We also totally made up country music mega-star Taylor Swift. Yeah, she’s not real. Any of you ever met her? Nope, of course not. And did we mention that it was us behind all the crop circles over the past 30 years or so? Oh, and every single person on MTV’s “Catfish” is us, too.
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
You are now informed. Go and do likewise.